The Key to the Family
by jellybeanpink84
Summary: This story takes place in NM when Edward left. The wolves didn't find Bella in the woods that day... what happens when she is taken prisoner by Victoria instead? What will the Cullens find when they finally return to Forks? This story is all told from Esme's POV. Eventually Edward x Bella although it contains tender scenes between all couples, rated M for mature themes. COMPLETE!
1. Broken Family

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

**This entire story is in Esme's Point of View for something different.**

"We need to go back for her Carlisle." I whispered softly to my husband as we lay in our bed, watching the sun float across, eventually setting and marking the end of another day.

"You know that we can't do that Esme, we promised him and I can't go against what I told him, no matter how much it pains me." It was his usual reply and although I knew he was as torn as Alice and I, it hurt to know that he had given in to Edward's selfish behavior this time.

I know what we promised him Carlisle, but I can't do it anymore... she's one of us and I can't let her go." I could hear myself pleading with him to understand and I knew in a way that he did, but Edward was his first companion to this life, he would never betray his promise to him.

"I'm sorry Esme." he sounded like he was choking back his own sobs, I knew that he hated to deny me anything and this was truly tearing our family apart.

We spent several hours like this, locked in each other's arms, nothing that either of us could say to change the deadlock that we were currently in.

By the time that dawn arrived I couldn't take it anymore and I told the man that I loved that I needed to be alone, something that I had rarely needed since the night he had first found me. I could see the hurt wash across his face but of course he respected my request and released me from his arms, my body instantly giving in to the need to flee the house and be left to my own thoughts and feelings.

I ran south through the trees, my feet not stopping until I reached the small cave that I had found just after arriving back here to Alaska. It was just deep enough for me to sit inside, shadowed away from the rest of the world and allow my mind to wander... thinking about this... life.

For the first time that I could remember I was truly angry with my family. We had left Forks just over six months ago as per Edward's request, following her disastrous 18th birthday party.

When I had first entered into this world I was born into a ready-made family of sorts. Carlisle was my husband and Edward although _created_ before me was my son in every sense of the word. As our family grew, each of the 'children' held a special place in my heart. Oh, I knew they weren't really children any longer, and even with Edward at first he had never been a child, had never thought like the seventeen year old he actually was; but after being in this role for so long and especially with the addition of the foster parent facade, we had all fallen into our roles completely.

The problem now was that Bella had also found a place in our family, fallen naturally into the role of my daughter, perhaps even more so than the others had.

Since the first day that Edward had brought her home to meet us, I had known that she was the missing piece to our family and I had fallen in love with her as my daughter. She, like Edward was mature for her years, but was also still a child and the need to protect her, to teach her, and to guide her had grown instantly in my heart.

We had left her though. WE had thought of her as our family... our child... and we had left her without so much as a good-bye. What kind of a parent was I? What had we done to that poor girl?

My thoughts shifted direction and I thought back to my first child, my perfect baby boy who had died after only days in this world and my heart ached to see him again. I felt the pain double at the loss of Bella from our family, my second human child to be taken from me and I felt the same push that had consumed me all those years ago, that had driven me to the edge of the rocky cliff. For a brief moment and I allowed various scenarios to run rampant through my mind, ways to end this existence, ways to stop the pain of being separated from my children.

"Esme... please don't." Carlisle's pleading voice pulled me from my thoughts and I stared through the darkness of the cave, searching for his face. I smiled weakly up at him, the sight of him pushing those thoughts away. Looking past him I saw that the remaining members of the family were all standing in the mouth of the cave, their faces showing their concern. But two were missing. Edward and Bella weren't there.

"I'm sorry... they were just memories... not decisions." I tried to explain, realizing that Alice had seen my ideas and I must have worried them all with what she had seen.

"Tell me what to do. What can I possibly do to make this better for you Esme?" Carlisle begged me and I felt the venom pool in my eyes, tears that would never fall, as he crawled in and sat next to me.

"I need to go back for her. She belongs here with us." My voice was shaking and I fingered the pendant that I wore absently. The pendant was identical to the one that we all had, to the one we'd had made for Bella just before we left, the one that identified us all as Cullens, as family.

"We all need to go back for her." The rest of the family was now sitting with us in the mouth of the cave and we all turned to stare in shock at Rosalie's words. She didn't say anything further and instead shrugged her shoulders.

"I agree." Jasper's words were also surprising to us and I looked to him for an explanation. Him and Rosalie had been the two family members that had stubbornly sided with Edward in the decision to leave Forks in the first place.

"The family is broken without her. Our emotional bonds are breaking as pain and loss are growing, moving in and taking over. We all know that when we love as vampires, we don't let go and it doesn't change. I think we forgot that it isn't just the love between mates that is permanent, but also the love among a family. We all love Bella, she's a Cullen." Jasper explained and I smiled at him thankfully.

"I say we go back." Emmett agreed cautiously, not wanting to get his hopes up in case we didn't go back. Leaving Bella had been almost as hard on him as it had on Alice and I.

"I agree, this is getting out of hand. Edward will be extremely upset with all of us but I don't see another option. Hopefully it will force Edward to come to his senses and return to her if she will have him." Carlisle spoke up and squeezed my hand. I smiled up at him and we all turned to look at Alice, waiting for her input.

"What's the matter sweetheart?" Jasper prompted when we saw the familiar glazed-over expression on her face.

"I can't find her." she squeaked out, her expression horrified.

"I can't find her... Bella's gone." she said again locking eyes with me as I felt the panic begin to rise up in my chest.


	2. Return to Forks

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

"_I can't find her... Bella's gone." she said again, locking eyes with me as I felt the panic begin to rise up in my chest. _

"What do you mean you can't find her Alice?" I tried to keep my voice calm but the panic that surrounding me made it difficult and I could hear the sharp edge in my voice.

It was quiet for a minute while we all waited for Alice to answer, her face still masked in horror as her eyes stayed glazed-over.

"She's gone... she has no future anymore... it's like I know that she's there... somewhere... but I can't see anything. It's just black, like I can't get to her specific future." she was getting frustrated as she tried to explain her lack of sight in regards to Bella and we could all feel he tension rising up in the air.

Everyone was talking to Alice now, asking her questions and trying to understand what this could mean. I was trying to process it when I glanced over at Rosalie and saw the small cell phone at her ear, the sound of ringing silencing our group.

"Hello?" The voice was rough and tired sounding but we all recognized it instantly as the voice of Forks' Chief of Police, Charlie Swan.

"Good morning Chief Swan," Rosalie's voice sounded sweetly through the phone.

"Is Bella at home home sir?" she asked innocently and we all waited, none of us daring to move or even breath as we waited for his answer.

"What kind of sick joke... who the Hell is this?" Charlie's voice had become immediately hostile and we all looked at each other in fear of what his statement meant.

"I'm sorry Chief Swan, I didn't mean to upset you. May I ask is something wrong? Did something happen to Bella? This is an old friend of Bella's... Rosalie." she kept her voice steady and innocent, but I could see her face showing her confusion and concern.

"Oh I get it now. Let's call and pretend to be on of them. One of those damn Cullen's that took my baby girl away from me..." Charlie began to rant and Rosalie looked to me for help, a stunned look crossing over her features.

"Chief Swan?" Carlisle had taken the phone from Rosalie's hand and didn't wait for an answer before speaking again.

"Chief Swan, this is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, would you care to explain the statement that you just made to my daughter regarding Bella?" the phone went silent as we waited for Charlie to say something. I could feel the sobs threatening to over-take my body at what Charlie had implied and was trying to understand what could have happened to Bella.

"Dr. Cullen?" Charlie finally croaked from the other end, the fire gone from his tone. I imagined that if we could see him his face would have paled as he realized who he was talking to.

"Yes Charlie, it's Dr. Cullen. Can you tell us what's happened to Bella?" Carlisle confirmed patiently.

"Bella... she disappeared... same day you lot left town... left a not, said she was in the woods with your boy and never came home... tried to find you... gone without a trace... who are you?" his thoughts were broken and erratic as he spoke but we understood what he had tried to tell us, to ask us.

"Charlie, you thought Bella was with us?" Carlisle clarified and I buried my face against his chest, no longer able to stop the sobs.

"I... I tried to find Bella... figured she had run off with you and your family." Charlie mumbled quietly.

"Your trail though... it was fake... none of you existed... but you did... dozens of documents with the same names and photos... but the dates... the impossible dates... and the things I'd noticed before... your eyes... your skin... your... diet." He stuttered and swallowed audibly.

"I thought Bella had decided to go with you... had become... like you." Charlie was still stuttering and the family's faces mirrored each other at the shock of this revelation.

"Charlie, I'm sorry. Bella's not with us. We left Forks that day to protect Bella, so that she wouldn't become like us, to keep her safe." Carlisle spoke gently to him as he rubbed my back gently, trying to comfort me at the same time.

"Where are you then? Where have you been? And don't give me that L.A. crap." Charlie sounded broken and I could picture him slumped over the kitchen table, his head in his hands.

"We're up in Alaska where we've been this entire time. But to be honest Charlie, we're prepared to leave for Forks tonight, to come help you find Bella."Carlisle's voice cracked and I realized how much this must be affecting him as well, he loved Bella as we all did.

"I couldn't find her... no trace... nothing..." Charlie stuttered again and we all stood up in the small cave, turning to head in the direction of the house.

"We're on our way Charlie, we'll help you look for her." Carlisle ended the call, gripping my hand tightly in his as we ran together back to the house.

My thoughts were consumed with worry for Bella the entire run back and while we spent a few minutes grabbing the few things that we would need before piling into Emmett's Jeep and Carlisle's Mercedes for the drive back to Forks. I could vaguely hear Alice on the phone with Edward, barely able to say Bella's name before he became angry with her, smashing his phone. He was a stubborn creature and we hadn't even been able to tell him about our conversation with Charlie, he had no idea that his mate, his other half was missing.

I turned around in my seat and watched as Alice's eyes glazed over and I could see her searching, looking for anything that might reveal something from Bella's future, something to tell us where she was.

Jasper turned on his phone and raised it to his ear, making contacts with the kind of people that I normally tried to avoid dealing with, the kind of people who had ways to find things out. He gave his contacts her name and any alternate names she may be using – Swan, Cullen, Masen, Dwyer – anything that had she run away she may have used. I knew if she had run away then Jasper's contacts would be able to find her.

I grew tired of watching the road and the world pass by at human speeds, the daylight putting a cap on how fast we could travel without drawing attention to ourselves, and looked back to the backseat.

"Alice?" I asked her worriedly, she had stayed locked in her visions, seeming like she was lost in her own mind, desperately searching for a vision of Bella the entire drive so far.

"She's just searching, she won't snap out of it though, and it feels different... I can't describe it, but something isn't right." Jasper's voice was as worried as mine as we watched Alice sit next to him, curled under his arm unresponsively.

"What do you mean different? What emotion is it?" I wondered and saw his frown deepen.

"I don't know, I've never experienced whatever this is before, I've never seen Alice like this before. It's like there's a void though. She's almost shut down while she searches." I watched as Jasper tried to comfort her in much the same way Carlisle was trying to comfort me as we continued South towards the only place where we had ever truly felt at home, the only place our family had ever been complete.

We spent the remainder of the drive in much the same way, although Carlisle tried to keep our emotions in check as much as possible as we could see the intensely charged atmosphere in addition to his own worry for Alice beginning to take it's toll on Jasper.


	3. Telling Charlie

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

_We spent the remainder of the drive in much the same way, although Carlisle tried to keep our emotions in check as much as possible as we could see the intensely charged atmosphere in addition to his own worry for Alice was beginning to take it's toll on Jasper. _

"Charlie? It's Carlisle Cullen, we just wanted to ask if you were available to meet with us, we've just crossed the town line and were hoping to speak with you right away." My husband called and spoke to Charlie as we raced through town, going directly to the Chief's house.

"Yeah, I'm at home still, come on over." He sounded as though he hadn't slept since our last call to him and I wondered how he was holding up, surely if he had assumed Bella was with us, he had also assumed that we hadn't hurt her. Now... now we didn't know, Charlie didn't know.

When we pulled into the familiar driveway, the first thing that I was surprised to see was Bella's old Chevy truck sitting exactly where she had always parked it, right next to Charlie's cruiser. Seeing it sitting there like that had instantly crushed my hopes that she had simply run away.

"Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen." Charlie greeted us warily and looked anxiously over our shoulders as we approached the door where he had obviously been waiting.

"Where is he? Where's your boy, Edward?" he asked gruffly and I took in a deep un-needed breath.

"Edward's not with us right now, he's actually in South America." I tried to force a smile but couldn't quite manage to make it feel real.

"Well I guess you can come in and sit down then. I think I need some answers from you all." he sounded defeated as the entire family followed him into the small living room, pulling in chairs from the kitchen to sit on.

The silence was awkward and uncomfortable as we each sat down, I turned to Jasper who was practically carrying Alice as he sat down on the small sofa and pulled her onto his lap. Next I looked around the room and my eyes focused on the mantle where picture after picture of Bella sat.

"Alright. I've done some research since you all left town and since you seem to suddenly be interested in my daughter again I need some answers. I think I deserve that much at least. You can start with the truth about who and what you really are."

My attention turned back to Charlie as he spoke up and demanded answers. We had all discussed this as a possibility on the way back to Forks and were prepared to give him whatever answers he needed if it meant that we would be able to figure out what had happened to Bella.

"We're not exactly human Charlie." Carlisle began simply and the air became thick and uncomfortable, none of us was comfortable with sharing the truth of what we were but in this case we all had agreed that it might be a necessity.

"Vampires?" he croaked out in response and we were all equally stunned at how easily he had put the pieces together and seemed to be accepting of it.

"Yes Charlie," I answered carefully trying to gage his reaction as he looked back and forth between each of us, taking us in as though for the first time.

"Bella's not with you?" he confirmed and I slowly shook my head.

"Charlie, I promise that we'll answer all of your questions, but first I need you to tell me if anyone else knows what you do about us?" Carlisle spoke up and Charlie shook his head, replying with a simple 'no'.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle wanted to confirm before continuing.

"No... when we couldn't find her... once we had assumed she was with you... I put everything together on my own... I haven't said anything to anyone. Are you dangerous?" He replied and then blurted his question out, his eyes the only part of him showing any fear at what we had admitted to him.

"We're vampires Charlie, and yes we can be dangerous. We survive on blood, however our family has made the decision to live only off of the blood of animals, something that isn't necessarily easy but it is the only way that we all wish to survive, we don't wish to hurt humans." I began to tell him and I could see the questions written all over his face.

"You've... been around... a while?" Charlie swallowed and I nodded my head.

"Yes, we're immortal Charlie, we never age, never change." I again explained and he seemed to take the information well, only growing slightly more pale as I spoke.

"Bella figured out our secret just after she arrived here in Forks, she knew and she accepted us. And we considered her a part of our family from the very first time that Edward brought her to the house." I wanted to reassure him that we did care for Bella.

"Something else that you should know about our kind Charlie is that when we finally fall in love... it's for life. We don't change and we don't separate." I paused to make sure that he was still following me and saw realization dawn on his face.

"We're all mated couples here Charlie. Carlisle and myself, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Edward was always the odd one out, he'd been alone for so long that we worried he may never find his mate... until he met Bella. Unfortunately finding Bella posed a problem for us as our kind typically only mates with others of our kind and Bella was a human. The other problem was how much danger seems to naturally find Bella, we didn't want to be a danger to her."

"Her birthday?" Charlie seemed to be getting impatient and I saw Jasper tense up out of the corner of my eye, her birthday was still a sensitive issue with him.

"Bella cut herself and it caused a bit of trouble, although she was never in any danger, bleeding in front of seven vampires isn't something that I would exactly recommend. It was that night that Edward asked us all to leave town for Bella's safety. He loves her more than you can imagine Charlie and he thought that our world was too dangerous for her, he only wanted to protect her." I sat quietly giving him a minute to process everything that I'd just said.

"If Edward loved her as much as you say, is it possible that she's with him somewhere?" I was surprised at how well Charlie was taking everything.

"No, we stay in contact with Edward and he was in Alaska with us for several weeks before going off on his own. Like I said Charlie, mated pairs don't separate with our kind and it has been incredibly hard for Edward to be without her." I explained patiently, understanding why he might think that.

"I've looked everywhere for her... what makes you all think that you can find her when I couldn't?" he asked and I was again surprised at how easily he had accepted the truth.

"Because of our nature, our senses are enhanced when we are changed. We become physically stronger and faster, we can smell scents that may be months old, we can also hear things from further away. In addition to the physical differences that we possess we have additional resources and contacts at our disposal, Jasper has already been in contact with them and they are working with us as we speak. We were hoping that perhaps you would allow us to look inside Bella's room while we are here to see if we can spot any changes, anything that may indicate that anything happened here before she left." Carlisle told him and the Chief nodded his head.

"What's wrong with little Alice?" we had been expecting him to either allow or deny us access and his question again threw us off track.

"In addition to our heightened senses, a few of us also have additional... gifts. Alice's gift is that she can see the future based on current decisions. When we left Forks, Edward asked Alice not to look into Bella's future any longer and she didn't until just before I called you initially. But Alice couldn't find Bella's future any longer although she can sense that Bella is alive, just somehow blocked to Alice's vision. She's been locked in her mind looking for her ever since, we can't pull her back out of it. We've never seen Alice like this before." Carlisle explained and Charlie looked at Alice with sadness in his eyes.

"You can go ahead and look in her room." Charlie told us, putting his head back against his chair and closing his eyes.

When we opened the door to her room we could smell a slightly more concentrated version of her scent in comparison to the rest of the house, but it was definitely old. She hadn't been here in months. Walking further into the room I reflexively hissed as the next scent assaulted my nose.

"Damn. Is that the redhead... Victoria?" Emmett spoke first as Carlisle pulled me into his side.

"Who's Victoria?" Charlie whispered from the doorway and I was surprised to see that he had followed us up here.

"Um Charlie... do you remember last spring... Phoenix?" Rosalie asked him quietly and I watched as Charlie's eyes bulged out of his head at the implication. Emmett and Rosalie told him that they would explain what happened and led him out of the room and down to the kitchen.

"Do you think that she... took Bella?" I looked to Carlisle questioningly, venom again pooling in my eyes.

"I don't know but it's the only lead we have right now, the only explanation that I can think of that makes any sense at all. I'm sure that she blames Bella for James' death." he answered honestly and I shook my head, not wanting to believe it.

"What next? Where do we even begin to look for Victoria? Edward tracked her to South America... do you think she could have Bella down there somewhere, that he's that close to her?" I fired off my questions looking desperately for the answers I wanted to hear.

"We should speak to Laurent. I know that he's been happy with Irina but perhaps he still keeps in contact with Victoria, they were friends." I heard Jasper suggest from where he still sat with Alice, waiting for her to snap out of her trance.

Carlisle and I finished looking around Bella's room, looking for any sign of where she could have gone before we made our way back down to hear Charlie explain what he knew about the day that Edward left.

"I knew that something was wrong when Bella came home from her birthday at your place and the days that followed it. Both her and Edward were acting strange but I just figured it was normal teenage relationship problems... nothing she would want to share with me." he looked to me and I smiled to let him know I understood why he hadn't pried into it.

"The night she disappeared I had worked later than usual, there were some teenagers causing problems that I had had to deal with. It was around one in the morning by the time I finally got in and I found the note that Bella had left on the table by the door. I figured it was odd that she hadn't thrown it out when she got back from her walk with Edward so I went to check on her but she wasn't there. When I tried calling your number and it was no longer in service I set up a search party to look for her. We had most of the town and the reservation out in the woods searching but there was nothing, no sign of her whatsoever." I stood up and went to him, giving him a gentle hug when I saw the tears start to trickle down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry that we weren't here Charlie..." I whispered my apology, sitting back down.

"Billy Black... the people down at La Push... they all know what you are don't they?" It wasn't really a question but decided that Charlie deserved as many truthful answers as I could give him.

"Yes, they know." I replied and he nodded thoughtfully.

"They aren't like you but they're something... those boys got huge fat and I know Billy's been hiding something from me." he said and again I nodded at him.

"The wolves are back?" Emmett asked in a tone too low for Charlie to hear.

"It sounds like it." Carlisle replied and I turned back to Charlie.

"Unfortunately you'll have to ask Billy about that Charlie. To be honest I'd like to speak to him as well." Carlisle answered Charlie's question and I felt bad that we couldn't tell him everything, but that wasn't our secret to tell and we were bound by the treaty.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes until we heard the vibrating of Carlisle's cell phone, not recognizing the number he was about to send it to voice mail when the tiny voice spoke out.

"Answer it." Alice hadn't moved and didn't say anything else but I felt a wave of relief wash through me as Carlisle placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"It's me." Edward's voice came through the other end and I held my breath as Carlisle spoke to him.

"Edward, don't hang up before I can explain... we're in Forks."


	4. Searching

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

"_It's me." Edward's voice came through the other end and I held my breath as Carlisle spoke to him._

"_Edward, don't hang up before I can explain... we're in Forks."_

"I told you all to stay away." Edward interrupted and a low growl escaped, making it's way out of my chest, up my throat, and out from between my lips.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen you listen to me this instant. We're in Forks with Charlie and he knows about us. Not only that but Bella has been missing since the day that you left her in the woods. Victoria has been in Charlie's house - in Bella's room – and we are here to look for her, to help Charlie find her. Now you need to get yourself on the next flight that you can find back to the United States and meet us here." I growled at him with venom dripping from my voice, Charlie wincing slightly as I allowed my nature to briefly show through.

"I'm on my way." Edward replied, his voice suddenly flat and shaky.

"Have you had any luck tracking Victoria down there?" Carlisle had taken back over the conversation before Edward could hang up the phone.

"I killed Victoria three days ago." My mind went blank at his words as I tried to comprehend whether this was good news or bad for us in our search.

Charlie was watching us as we spoke to Edward, hearing only our side of the conversation, his face a mixture of confusion and concern, I felt badly for having frightened him. Carlisle didn't spend long on the phone with Edward, before turning his attention back to Charlie.

"Do you have any other information about what happened Charlie... any other leads that you haven't mentioned... or any questions that you need to ask us?" Carlisle asked him gently. Charlie had sunken further into his chair, his posture that of a defeated man.

"If you find her... I'll see her again? You'll tell me before you take her away from me and make her like one of you?" he asked weakly and my heart broke for the man in front of us.

"Of course you will Charlie. I promise you that when we find Bella, we'll get her back here to you as soon as we can." I promised him firmly and vowed silently that I would do everything in my power to keep that promise.

"I hate to have to ask this Charlie, but you'll keep the information about us and what we are to yourself?" Carlisle asked a moment later and Charlie nodded his head vigorously.

"We're going to be heading to our place now to try and reach some of our contacts, see if they have been able to come up with any leads yet. You have all of our numbers if you need anything?" I asked him as Carlisle and I remained on the couch, the children already standing and making their way outside and leaving in the Jeep.

"Yes, your daughter Rosalie put them in my phone." he looked at me curiously as if debating whether or not he should ask whatever question was building in his mind. I smiled at him encouragingly to let him know that he could.

"Is little Alice going to be alright? I hate to see her this way, she was always so bright and bubbly before." Charlie was truly worried for Alice and I didn't know what the right answer was.

"To be honest we're not sure... she seems to be almost trapped in her visions right now. We're all quite concerned about her. When Alice is having a vision we've never been able to pull her out before the vision is done, but she's always been in control of them, this time it's as though whatever she's seeing is controlling her. The best that we can do for her is wait and hope that she is able to come out of it on her own." Carlisle explained and my heart clenched in pain for Alice, knowing that whatever was keeping her locked up couldn't be pleasant.

"I know that you want to get back to Alice and start your search for Bella but I was hoping that you wouldn't mind just sharing with me how you all found each other and how you became a family. Something tells me that the way you all live isn't common for you... um... folks." Charlie asked uneasily and I squeezed Carlisle's hand, we both thought that he deserved answers to his questions.

"I'll give you a brief overview of how we each became this way and formed our family." Carlisle began nervously and Charlie settled back into his chair, something telling him that this wasn't exactly easy for us to talk about.

"I was born sometime in the early 1640's, my father was an Anglican minister and it was a time when humans were terrified of anything different and called anyone who was different a monster. When I became of age I regularly followed my father in his searches for witches, vampires, and any other supernatural beings he thought were plaguing the earth. When I was around 23 years old I was out on a raid and we stumbled upon a coven of real vampires and I was bitten. The vampire became distracted and I managed to crawl through the streets and hide while the change took place. The pain of the change is excruciating and lasts for about three days and the entire time it took everything in me to remain silent and undiscovered. When the change was completed I realized what I had become and attempted to end my existence which proved to be nearly impossible. I became weak with thirst but refused to give in to it. Eventually a herd of deer passed by and I attacked, no longer able to control my own body. My instincts had kicked in and it was at that time that I realized that I could exist without being the monster that I had believed I was. After I discovered that I worked on my control, spending some time with a coven in Italy before deciding that I wanted to use this life to help people and becoming a doctor." Carlisle paused here and looked at Charlie's face which was focused, intrigued.

"I continued in this life alone as a doctor until 1918 when I found Edward and his family. I was working nights at a hospital in Chicago and he and his family were dying of Spanish Influenza. Edward was seventeen at the time and I'm still not sure if it was loneliness or his mother's pleas to save him as she died that caused me to make the decision to save him. I snuck him out of the hospital and to my apartment where I turned him, making him the like myself." Charlie's face was white as I watched him do the math in his head, calculating Edward's age.

"Carlisle found me next in 1921. I was twenty-six years old and I had jumped off of a cliff, attempting suicide. It was a dark time for me, my newborn baby boy had just died and I had recently left my abusive husband. They had taken me to the morgue thinking that I was already dead but Carlisle could tell that I wasn't."

"When I laid my eyes on her I knew instantly that I was in love with her and I didn't have a choice but to save her." Carlisle took over for me when I became choked up at the memories.

"It was just the three of us until 1933. Carlisle found Rosalie when she was dying at the age of 18 and he again decided to change her. Two years later she found 20 year old Emmett while she was out hunting, he had been mauled by a bear and she carried him back to Carlisle, asking him to change him for her." I paused again as we watched Charlie process everything.

"Alice and Jasper joined our family in 1950. Alice awoke from the change in 1920 without any memories of her prior life or the vampire that had changed her. She only had her visions to guide her decisions. Last year Alice discovered that she was actually born in 1901 and had been in an asylum before she was changed. Alice's visions lead her to Jasper who was changed by a vampire during the civil war when he was 20 years old. They met up in 1948 and then they both came to find us." Charlie looked at us both with a combination of emotions taking turns crossing his face.

"High school students..." he mumbled and I stifled a small giggle.

"It helps us to be able to stay in one place for longer periods of time if we have some sort of cover story. Although over the years we have fallen into the roles that we play... we really do think of them as our children." I thought of each member of my family as I explained it to him.

"Does anyone else in your family have those extra gifts that you were talking about earlier?" he asked, his curiosity warring with his worry.

"Aside from Alice seeing the future, Edward can read minds and Jasper can both sense and manipulate the emotions of those around him." Carlisle answered him honestly.

"That explains a hell of a lot..." he mumbled shaking his head.

Charlie didn't have any other questions and we said our goodbyes, promising to call him the second we learned anything about Bella. By the time we reached the house the others had already done a quick restore, ripping dust blankets off the furniture and setting the laptops on the dining room table, each of them deep in the search for Bella.

"Where's Alice?" I asked as Carlisle jumped into the search with the others, disappointed that there had been absolutely no leads yet.

"She's upstairs in our room. She hasn't responded to anything at all, and she's still not moving. There's absolutely no emotion coming from her... it's just... she's empty..." Jasper was frustrated and worried about his wife as he continued to search for Bella and I felt him beginning to pull away, another one of my children being faced with something that we hadn't been at all ready for.

"Oh Alice honey, come back to us sweetheart." the words were out of my mouth the instant I saw her laying in her and Jasper's bed, her body looking more frail than I imagined possible. We had stopped on the way back to Forks to hunt and Jasper had practically force-fed her but looking at her it was as though she hadn't hunted in weeks. Her eyes were pitch black and distant, the familiar purple circles under her eyes dark and deep, and her skin was even whiter than usual and appeared paper thin.

My heart ached when she didn't answer me and she didn't acknowledge at all when I sat down next to her and took her tiny hand in my own, surprised by the coldness of it.

I gently stroked Alice's head, not sure what else I could do, wishing her back to us while she laid perfectly still in the bed. I could hear the others below me typing and making phone calls, bouncing ideas off of each other as they worked. Wondering who else could know where Bella was, what could have possibly happened to cause her to disappear so completely.

By the following day we still didn't have any leads as to where Bella could be and the tension in the house was thick enough to cut through.

Around noon Charlie called Carlisle to check our progress, his voice dropping with disappointment when we told him that we still hadn't found anything. Just after that Emmett and Rosalie left the house to scout out the area and search for any type of clues.

"How are you doing Jasper?" Carlisle asked after coming up at yet another dead end in the search.

"I'm fine. It's a little tense but nothing that I can't handle." he answered and I frowned at his answer, he had only come up once since we'd been back at the house and had turned again around almost immediately upon entering the room.

"Why don't you take a break and go up and see to Alice, be with her for a little while." Carlisle suggested gently and I heard the brief pause in typing before Jasper answered.

"I can't go up there." I didn't think that he was going to elaborate on his answer but after a moment he surprised me.

"It's too painful. I walk into the room with her and it's as though wherever she is, she's sucking all of the emotion out of me... out of the room. She's become an emotional black hole. I can't get through to her and I can't help her... I can't... Not only that but I did this. It was my lack of control that caused her to be this way... for all of us to be in this mess." Jasper never shared his weaknesses but Alice was more than a weakness, she was his other half. We all knew that it was hurting him to not be able to come to her, to help her.

I stayed with Alice constantly on Jasper's behalf, unwilling to leave her alone, simply waiting for something to break with Bella... with Alice.

"Has she done anything at all since yesterday?" Carlisle came into the room as I watched the sun set, his arm wrapping around my shoulder and pulling me into his side.

"She hasn't moved, hasn't blinked, hasn't taken a breath. There's nothing from her at all... it's as though she's..." I trailed off not wanting to entertain the idea that one of our children could be so close to being gone for good.

Carlisle moved towards her and looked her over briefly, completely stumped as to how to pull her out of wherever it was that she was lost.

"And what about you... how are you doing sweetheart?" I was again tucked into his side and he kissed the top of my head softly.

"I... I don't know." I began to sob and heard Carlisle finally break and begin to sob himself shortly after I did. As I sobbed into his shirt I thought about how our family had been ripped apart and turned upside down in the last year. I knew that it was because of Bella but I didn't blame her... I blamed us... I blamed Edward.

"You're right. It is my fault." Edward's voice was quiet as he spoke from somewhere outside the house and I sat up instantly, the anger towards my son suddenly trumping my despair.


	5. Between Two Doors

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

"_**You're right. It is my fault." Edward's voice was quiet as he spoke from somewhere outside the house and I sat up instantly, the anger suddenly trumping my despair.**_

The anger boiled within me and I didn't dare speak as Edward made his way inside the house, moving to find us upstairs. Before he could enter the room however I moved to meet him outside the room, closing the door behind me, keeping him from seeing Alice.

"I know that nothing I say will be good enough, but I'm so sorry Esme." Edward spoke quietly, his face scrunched up in pain, his arm over his chest as though he was holding onto his heart.

I couldn't speak, couldn't verbalize everything that I was feeling but my body had a mind of it's own through my anger and I watched in horror as my arm swung up, my open hand connecting with Edward's face, a loud _crack_ reverberating through the hallway. Edward's eyes were wide as he stood there staring at me in horror, I had never since my early newborn days as a vampire been violent towards any one member of my family.

"I... I need to go sit with Alice." I was still surprised by my own actions and turned without saying another word, going back into the bedroom and resuming my place with my daughter and my husband.

Edward stood in the hallway for a minute before making his way into the room behind us, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of Alice laying in the bed. I was sure that he had seen her from our thoughts already, but seeing her like this in person had to be much harder for him.

Alice and Edward had always been the closest siblings out of the family, their bond resembling that of a true brother and sister. Alice understood Edward and he understood her, they both knew the burden of being able to see and hear things that the rest of us couldn't. The knew how to comfort one another and they would do anything to protect each other.

"What's wrong with Alice?" his face was anguished as I replayed the scene in the cave in Alaska and Alice's retreat into her mind. I assumed Carlisle was doing the same and chose not to say anything, letting our thoughts do the talking as my anger simmered down slightly, my concern for Alice again at the forefront of my mind.

"Can you see anything, hear anything from her Edward?" Carlisle finally spoke aloud and I looked at Edward expectantly – as angry as I was at him, there was a possibility he could get to her when the rest of us couldn't. Jasper appeared at the door to the room, he was hunched over and obviously in pain, his concern for Alice evident in his eyes. We understood why he was putting himself so close to her, putting himself through the pain to know that she was okay, he needed to hear what Edward would say.

"I'm only getting random bits and pieces." Edward squinted in concentration and we all waited anxiously.

"It's dark... like she's found Bella but can't get to her, she's trying to push through and reach her but she keeps hitting some sort of wall and bouncing back. It's like something is deliberately blocking her from seeing anything." Edward gasped out as though he was there with her and we let out a collective breath. Alice was still there... somewhere.

"Alice, you need to come back here to us Alice, get out of that hole." Edward kneeled down beside her and took his hand in his before he doubled over in pain briefly before straightening back up with a concentrated expression on his face.

"Jasper?" Carlisle questioned and I looked over to the door to see him collapsed to the ground in a ball, the man who I had always seen as one of the strongest of our family looking fragile.

"He needs to get out of here. The black... it's a void that's keeping Alice from coming back... it's like she tries but it pulls her back in. It's crippling both of them... get Jasper out." Edward spoke quickly and Carlisle moved to help Jasper up and back downstairs.

"I don't understand what you mean... how is she trapped?" My voice was low and shaky as I tried to understand what Edward was saying.

"Imagine that Alice's mind is a long hallway with hundreds of doors leading off it and normally each one of those doors is a vision, a person's current pathway." I nodded to let him know that I was following him, he had used this analogy to describe her visions to us before. "She found the door to Bella but when she opened it, it pulled her into this void, this nothingness. When she tries to go forward past the void she gets bounced back, pushed as though there's another door blocking her way and it's locked her out." he kept explaining and I again nodded at the visual that he was giving me.

"Why can't she pull out of the vision or lack of vision then... go back through the door that she first came through?" I asked him confused and truly worried for her.

"She hears some of what we're saying and she tries to pull back, to go through that initial door, backtracking. But again it's like it has been slammed shut, trapping her in between the two doors... trapping her in the void." he said and my mind reeled as I tried to come up with a way to pull her back out, to have those doors open to her.

"Alice?" Edward's head snapped back to her and I watched in horror as Edward crumpled to the floor in the same way that Jasper had only minutes before. I moved to help him up but he waved me off with a grimace and focused on Alice.

"Keep fighting it Alice, get out of there. Edward whispered and I watched as he concentrated and straightened up.

"What just happened Edward?" I asked him as he took a calming breath.

"Alice called to me and I opened my mind up to her, I had blocked it earlier but to hear her speak to me I had to open up again." Edward told me.

"She thinks Bella is with someone who is pulling her into this void... that Bella is in this void herself. She compared it to a vision that she once had of Alec of the Volturi and how he can numb you to everything." I gasped at this comparison, stories of the Volturi playing in my mind.

"It's not the same feeling but similar and possibly even more powerful. It took everything in me to come out of her vision just now and I was only experiencing it second hand." he clarified and I felt a slight relief that she didn't think it was Alec, just someone with a similar ability.

"Alice also is not positive but she says that she has a strong feeling that we need to go East... she said possibly New York State. It's not from her vision exactly because there has been nothing to see, but when she gets close to the wall or whatever it is that's blocking her, New York keeps popping up in her mind." he said again and I heard Carlisle and Jasper move to the computers downstairs and begin typing.

"Esme..." Edward began a moment later, looking unsure of what to say next.

"I'm sorry Esme... you were right all along... you were all right... we never should have left her." Edward had fallen into the chair and his head was buried in his hands.

The anger bubbled up inside of me again and it took everything in me not to lash out at him both mentally and verbally.

"She's your mate Edward... I don't understand how you **could** leave her and not expect her to feel it too, for it to hurt her and all of us." I couldn't look at him as I spoke the words.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. I have to find her." his voice was barely above a whisper as he stood up.

"I'm sorry Alice, I promise I'll find your best friend and get you out of there." he whispered as he kissed her forehead and made his way out of the room and down to join Carlisle and Jasper in their search.

"Alice had better come out of this." I could feel the threat in Jasper's words and choked back a sob at the state our family was in.

**A/N: I know this was a short chapter, but hopefully it gives a little insight into what's wrong with Alice. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	6. With Newborns

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

"_**Alice had better come out of this." I could feel the threat in Jasper's words and choked back a sob at the state our family was in.**_

Emmett and Rosalie arrived back at the house just after dawn, their search not turning up anything that revealed where Bella had gone. Edward had been greeted roughly, none of the others willing to forgive him until the rest of the family was found and healed, the atmosphere remaining tense as Emmett and Rosalie took over the computers, Carlisle, Jasper and Edward leaving for the treaty line. Carlisle had managed to get in contact with one of the Quileute elders to arrange a meeting, hoping that they may have picked up something during the initial search for Bella all those months before.

"Look at this," I stayed where I was at Alice's side as I heard Rose move over to look at something on Emmett's computer.

"What does this have to do with us Em? With Alice and Bella?" Rosalie's voice sounded confused but not agitated as she looked over whatever it was that Emmett had found.

"Look. This happened first right..." Emmett began and I waited patiently with Alice while they put their clues together.

"So these guys... Riley Biers and Taylor Roberts went missing in Seattle a month before we left Forks... and then a few days later these other unexplained murders started... they stopped the day before we left." Rosalie's words were thoughtful as she considered it.

"You think someone turned this pair – this Riley and Taylor – and that these newborns are somehow involved with Bella's disappearance?" Rosalie questioned cautiously. My own mind was going over the information and it did seem to add up... but why Bella?

"Look at this... this Riley kid was from Forks." Emmett was excited by everything that he had discovered and the theory that he had come up with, but it had only left me with more questions and confusion.

Emmett and Rosalie delved back into their search, looking more in depth at the unsolved murders that had been attributed to a serial killer but were obviously the work of one – or two – of our own kind. They looked up the missing couple, trying to find any connection to Bella, looking at their pasts and finding only more questions.

Sitting up here with Alice I began to go stir crazy, doing nothing to help in the search so I decided to leave and hunt, thinking that if I brought some nourishment to Alice, she might better be able to fight the void, to pull out of it.

I stopped at the computer station briefly and scanned all of the information that Emmett and Rosalie had organized before telling them where I was going. I grabbed an old thermos – a prop from our former Forks hiking trips – and left through the back door, heading into the forest.

It didn't take me long before I found a herd of deer and killed two of them, taking one for myself and carefully draining the second into the thermos for Alice. I got to work burying my kill, trying not to let the fact that I was a killer – a monster – cloud my mind, something that I rarely had to work at.

"You aren't. You are more human than most humans that I've ever met. You aren't a monster." Edward's voice helped to push the thoughts back and I was glad to see Carlisle come through the woods towards me, eying the full thermos in my hands.

"For Alice... I thought maybe it would give her the strength to get out of her vision." I said and looked down, thinking it was probably a silly hope.

"That's a good idea, it might help." Jasper smiled reassuringly as Carlisle held me close to him.

"How did the meeting go?" I asked as we approached the house again.

"We met with the wolves... there were three of them there but Edward says there are at least five of them right now." I was surprised at their numbers but didn't dwell on it, there were more important things right now.

"When Bella disappeared there were only three of them and they had only just phased a couple of weeks before. Sam – the pack's alpha – said that when she disappeared they had been continually chasing away two vampires from the area who weren't a part of our family. When they searched for Bella the first few days that she was missing they found the two vampires' scents covering the entire area." Carlisle explained and we all sat down in the living room, Emmett and Rosalie joining us.

"Who were the vampires?" I asked urgently, hoping that Edward had recognized them from the wolves' memories. Emmett was sitting beside me and practically vibrating in a very Alice-like way.

"The first was Victoria and the second I didn't recognize from their thoughts but he went by the name Riley." Edward answered and then gasped as Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an excited look, my mind going back through the articles that I had scanned on the way out the door.

I still didn't understand why Victoria had needed to create new vampires but it did make sense that they were after Bella if she had created them... after all we had killed her mate for Bella.

"What's wrong? What is it?" Carlisle and Jasper questioned our reaction to the name.

Emmett began to recount everything that he and Rose had found and theorized as I excused myself to go upstairs and try to get Alice to drink.

"Victoria never showed you anything, never slipped and revealed this before you killed her?" Carlisle asked Edward after Emmett had told them everything and showed them the articles.

"No there was never anything from Victoria aside from thoughts of revenge for James' death. All she ever did was threaten me and I thought taunt me with what she would do to Bella if she ever got her hands on her, thoughts about how she was going to come back here and get Bella." Edward replied, the sound slightly muffled as though his head was resting in his hands.

"So Bella's alone with two newborn vampires and Victoria is dead?" Rosalie asked and I cringed. Who knows what they would do when Victoria didn't return – what they had already done to her.

"They could be hiding her anywhere. Where do we start looking?" Emmett asked, anger lacing his words.

"New York." Edward answered just before Alice released an ear-splitting shriek, bringing my attention back to the tiny girl beside me.

"Alice sweetie, talk to me, tell me what it is." I pleaded with her as the family arrived back in the room, Carlisle supporting Edward and Emmett doing the same for Jasper as they both took in whatever it was that Alice was experiencing.

Alice screamed until her voice was hoarse and they turned to painful whimpers as her body thrashed around on the bed.

"What do you see Edward? It hurts. She's letting off too much pain... burning... aching... agony..." Jasper spoke with his teeth ground together, the pain obvious to us all.

"It's dark... I can't see it but it's Bella... she's in the dark and she's being... she's being tortured..." Alice howled in pain and Edward and Jasper copied the sound.

"It's a woman with Bella..." Edward was gasping as he tried to focus through Alice on what she was seeing as Alice screeched in pain again.

"Her arm... she just broke Bella's arm." his face was crumpled in pain as he grasped his left arm, both Alice and Jasper doing the same thing.

"She's burning her with some sort of iron... I can't see it..." Edward ground out painfully and I felt my stomach lurch.

"No!" All three of them cried out at once and as suddenly as everything started Alice had calmed down again, the vacant expression returning to her face. Jasper and Edward sat silently staring at each other, trying to regain their composure.

"Was that what it felt like?" Jasper looked to Edward, rubbing his right wrist sensitively. I looked over to Alice who was laying still and unmoving on the bed as though none of the past several minutes had happened.

"The woman... Taylor... bit her... she let the venom begin to spread and then sucked it back out again." Edward's face was whiter than I'd ever seen it and again I felt my stomach twist, the deer I had taken earlier threatening to come back up.

"Alice?" Rosalie squeaked out and Edward shook his head softly.

"She's back in that void." he winced and I tucked Alice back under her blankets before following the family out of the room and back downstairs.

"And there was nothing to give away her location at all?" Carlisle asked and Edward again shook his head 'no'.

"It wasn't even like a normal vision of Alice's... I've never felt so much... a part of it... like I was actually Bella and experiencing the pain first hand..." Edward's face looked broken as he spoke the words.

"We've got to get to her now." Emmett was fuming with anger as he paced back and forth and I couldn't blame him. Six months. Bella had been with those monsters for six months.

"Irina." Carlisle answered his phone from beside me later on that night as I again sat at Alice's side, wanting to be there for her when and if she had another vision of Bella. Carlisle had come up to sit with me and hold me for a little while, the rest of the family downstairs and looking for any leads in New York as to where they could be keeping her.

"I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you Carlisle. Laurent and I have been in Russia, touring my home land for the past little while." Irina's voice was cheery and sweet and for the first time ever I wanted to skip the pleasantries and hurt both Irina and Laurent to get the information that we were seeking.

"I'm sorry to skip he usual pleasantries Irina, but is Laurent with you?" Carlisle asked politely as though he had read my mind. I heard Irina answer with a brief 'of course' before turning the phone over to her mate.

"Hello Carlisle, Irina says that you would like to speak with me?" the thickly accented voice greeted from the other end and I felt an unexpected dislike for this man surge within me, my mind unfairly blaming his leadership for bringing Victoria and James into our territory the previous year.

"Yes Laurent," Carlisle spoke calmly but his face was betraying the urgency.

"We were wondering if you've kept in contact with Victoria at all during the past six months or so." He began innocently.

"No, after I came here and met Irina I found perspective on the way that I had been living this existence. I only wish to move past my history and begin again here in Denali." Laurent's voice sounded sincere and I didn't doubt him although I was frustrated by his answer. We had seen him in Alaska many times and it was obvious that he was devoted to Irina.

"Thank you Laurent. Did you know if Victoria had any place that she particularly liked, any permanent residence that she may have previously held?" Carlisle was scouting for information.

"She mentioned an old family home in upstate New York somewhere. Her and James would sometimes go there to be alone for a few days. May I ask my friend why you are seeking this information?" Laurent revealed to us and the family went into action downstairs, Edward no doubt listening to the conversation through Carlisle's thoughts.

"Actually she has our Bella and we need to know where to look. Where in New York is this home? What, if any, other names has Victoria used?" Carlisle's tone was becoming more excited as he spoke, Jasper was on the phone downstairs with his contact, looking for any real estate under either Victoria or James' names.

"I'm not sure where exactly but I know it was in a small village with a lake. But I'm sorry, I must warn you that Victoria is very old with contacts all over the world, including contacts within the Volturi. If she did take your Bella, I can't see her still being alive." Laurent apologized and I felt myself beginning to growl.

"Actually, we do know that Bella is still alive somewhere and that it was in fact Victoria that had her up until Edward killed her recently. We think that Victoria had hidden her somewhere and we are looking for ideas as to where she would be keeping her." Carlisle explained with a sigh and then as an afterthought added, "exactly how old was Victoria?"

"Victoria was born in the fifteen hundreds... have you ever heard of Hilda's coven?" Laurent asked and Carlisle's eyes went wide.

"Victoria is the one who got away?" Carlisle asked, the shock evident in his voice.

I tuned out of their conversation at that point, not wanting to hear any more about the monster that had taken my daughter from me. Carlisle stayed on the phone for a little while longer, asking Laurent a few more questions about Victoria's past before he finally hung up.

Jasper's contacts were searching a variety of criteria, looking for a possible location. Emmett and Rosalie were back at the computers looking for information that might indicate that vampires had been in any certain area.

I heard Edward as he stood up and began pacing while Carlisle once again returned to my side, pulling me into him and attempting to comfort me.

"I'm going up to sit with Alice for a while." Jasper had made all the calls that he could and we could all tell that the high level of emotions in the house were taking their toll on him.

"Are you sure that you're okay to be that close to her Jazz?" Rosalie spoke up, her voice filled with concern.

"I'll be fine. The hardest part is not projecting it to everyone else in the house... the rest I can tolerate. I just need to be with her." I understood his need to have her close to him as Carlisle's arm tightened around me and we stood up to give him some privacy with his wife.

"Thank you for being with her." Jasper was hunched over and in obvious pain as he made his way across the room, stopping in front of us and giving me a brief hug before moving to Alice's side on the bed.

"Call us if you need anything." I whispered, making our way across the room, pausing at the door on our way out, I couldn't stop myself from glancing back at the pair. Alice laying still fragile on the bed, Jasper had moved to the bed with her, pulling her into his chest, his arm draped across her front.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I promise that we'll find Bella... we'll get you out of there." he whispered in her ear as he closed his eyes and swallowed deeply. I felt the venom well up in my eyes as I turned back to Carlisle and let him lead me back out of their room and towards our own.

"Come here sweetheart."

Carlisle sat in the large over-stuffed leather chair in the corner of our room and pulled me onto his lap where I instinctively curled into his chest, letting him wrap his arms tightly against him.

"We'll find Bella." he said simply into my head, his voice neither confident nor convincing.

"If we don't..."

"No, we can't think like that Esme. We **will **find her, Alice **will **pull out of the void... we **will. **We have to." the conviction was back in his voice and I wanted to believe him.

"When can we leave for New York?" I asked him a minute later, knowing that we needed to find her sooner rather than later.

"In the morning. Emmett and Rosalie are already making arrangements for the house to be opened up so that we have a base to continue our search and for Alice to stay while we're out looking." he answered me and I curled impossibly tighter into him.

"Everybody needs to hunt before we leave." I said absently, trying to focus on getting us there, getting us that much closer to finding her.

"We'll all go tonight, but right now I need you in my arms." he told me softly, pulling me back to him when I tried to get up.

I looked up at his face then, reading the hurt and anger, the sadness and worry that was written all over him. Reaching up with my hand, I cupped his cheek, wanting to take away this pain for him. I had never seen Carlisle look this vulnerable and I knew without a doubt that he felt the same pain that I did about Bella's disappearance and Alice's retreat into her mind.

Carlisle's eyes closed as I shifted in his lap so that my face was level with his as I kissed him softly, his lips responding to mine instantly, his grip on me tightening, pulling me tighter against him. It was a passionate kiss filled with despair, each of us wanting to take away the other's pain.

"Found it!" Emmett's booming voice interrupted us from downstairs and we both pulled away, looking at each other in surprise at the excitement in Emmett's tone.


	7. New York

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.**

"_**Found it!" Emmett's booming voice interrupted us from downstairs and we both pulled away, looking at each other in surprise at the excitement in Emmett's tone.**_

"We've got a few leads taking us to New York, we're leaving in about five minutes." I spoke softly into the phone and awaited his response.

"New York?" he questioned from the other end of the line. I had called him to update and assure him that we weren't abandoning our search.

"Yes, we think she was taken to a place in New York and have an idea of where she might be." I replied, trying not to give away too many details in case we were wrong.

"Where is it? I'll come with you." Charlie's voice was urgent and I had been afraid of this reaction.

"Charlie, we need you to stay here for your own safety. If Bella is where we think she is we'll bring her back as soon as we can, and of course we'll call and update you." I tried to assure him but I had a feeling he wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Please, let me come with you. If she's there I can..."

"No Charlie, if she is there then it is too dangerous for you to come, we'll get her back but we need you to stay here and be ready for when we bring her back." I said firmly and listened to the pause as he contemplated my words.

"You'll stay in contact regularly?" he asked finally, his voice again defeated.

"Yes Charlie, I promise we'll call you regularly."

"Take care of her, call me as soon as you get there." he said quietly and I again promised him that I would, saying goodbye and hanging up right after.

It was only a few minutes later that I was in the car with Edward, Alice and Carlisle, driving as fast as we could towards our destination, the car not moving nearly as fast as I wanted it to until the sun set and traffic became more sparse.

The car was quiet as we raced to our destination, all of us worried about what we might find once we reached New York, wondering if Bella would be there and what condition she would be in.

"No, no, no, no..." I whipped my head around when I heard Alice's mouth utter the words, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and her head was thrown back. Edward immediately locked eyes with her and I could see it as he read whatever she was seeing and the pain came into his own eyes.

"Pull over Carlisle." I said quickly as Alice's back arched off the seat and she let out a piercing shriek, her eyes darting open in pain.

"No!" Edward growled out, grabbing onto Alice urgently.

"What is it, what's happening Edward?" I demanded as Alice continued to scream and thrash around, her actions resembling those of someone who was being tortured.

"She's... she's..." it was bad. I didn't yet know what was happening but Edward couldn't speak, his head was now clutched in his hands, his sobs consuming him as I pulled open the back door and grabbed Alice into my arms, trying to stop her thrashing, to let her know that we were here with her... to be do something to try and help.

"Alice, come on, pull out. Please Alice, please come back to us." I begged her as Carlisle tried to break through to Edward, to get him to tell us what exactly was happening, what they were seeing in Alice's mind.

"Alice, please Alice." I begged one last time as the all-too familiar blank expression settled back over her eyes, her body stilling once more. Glancing back at Edward I was surprised to see him still gripping his head painfully as though he was still seeing things that somehow Alice wasn't.

"Edward, you need to tell us what Alice saw just now... was it Bella?" Carlisle asked but Edward didn't move, didn't speak.

"Edward, this isn't helping her." I was shocked to see Carlisle grab him by the shoulders, shaking him roughly before Edward's hands finally fell away from his face, his eyes filled with pain as he looked at Carlisle.

"She's in a small cabin by a lake somewhere. It was dark so I couldn't get a lot of details but she's chained to a wall." Edward's voice was flat and dull and I knew that he wasn't telling us everything that they had seen.

"How badly is she hurt? What did they do to her?" I demanded, wanting him to just spit it out so we could find her.

"She's being starved and is weak, but she's still being stubborn and fighting. Riley was with her this time and he... he... he forced himself on her... she's in pain throughout her entire body." Edward choked out, his eyes filled with venom, his words laced with anger.

The air was silent as we processed what Edward had said, none of us wanting to believe him, all of us just wanting Bella to be safe again.

"Let's go." Carlisle said after a minute, all of us moving to return to our seats, Carlisle's driving faster and more determined than I had ever seen it.

We arrived in New York the following day and pulled into our house to use it as our base and to get Alice settled before we would be going a little further upstate to the property that Emmett had found, the property that we were hoping that we would find Bella at.

"What is it? What happened?" Jasper rushed over to us as soon as we entered the house, all of our emotions giving us away immediately.

"Alice had another vision of Bella... she was being raped." Carlisle said with a grimace and I cringed back at the thought, the idea that she was being put through so much while we were unable to help her.

"Here, let me take her upstairs and get her settled in." Jasper took Alice's still body out of Edward's arms and ran upstairs to their bedroom, the sheets rustling as he tucked her into the bed, telling her how much he loves her.

"When are we going in? We need to get her out of there now." Rosalie fumed, her gaze had turned icy the instant that Carlisle had told them that Bella had been raped and we all knew why. It was a tender subject for Rosalie, bringing up the memories of her last night as a human. She would do anything it took to make sure that no woman ever had to endure what she had. Emmett wrapped his arm around her shoulder but his own face reflected hers, his experiences with Rosalie in their early years making him even more protective of all of the women in his life.

"Where's the map?" I asked as a reply, knowing that we would need to be prepared if we wanted to get Bella out of there alive.

I made my way over to the large dining room table where Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had already set up the computers and maps, all of the information that we would need laid out directly in front of us. While we all went over the plans that we had made back in Forks to get her out of the cabin, I watched out of the corner of my eye as Carlisle sorted through his bag, making sure that he had everything that he needed to help Bella medically.

"Everybody ready?" Jasper asked as he made his way back into the room, his face hard and masked, his military experience taking over his emotions.

I was about to reply that I was ready when I thought back to Alice laying upstairs in the bed all alone and I felt my heart suddenly clench. How could we leave Alice here alone, what if she woke up and we weren't here with her? How could I choose which daughter to be with during this time? My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a car turn onto our drive and I looked to Carlisle questioningly.

"I asked Irina to come and stay with Alice." he replied and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, knowing that Alice wouldn't be alone and I was able to go and help with Bella's rescue.

Irina came right into the house and I listened as Carlisle thanked her for coming and explained about Alice's condition before she took off up the stairs to sit with her and we all looked around the room at each other briefly before sprinting into action, not wanting to waste anymore time.

We had planned out our departure from the house so that it was twilight as we left on foot, racing into the forest and following the highway north, on foot it would take us about two hours to reach the cabin that we were hoping had Bella. The group was silent as we ran together and I used the time to pray that we would make it to her before they killed her – either on purpose or by accident – and that she would be able to heal with time, that they hadn't completely crushed her spirit.

"Do you smell that?" Jasper didn't look behind him as he spoke and I took a deep whiff, the two distinct scents of vampires hitting me strongly. We were on the right trail, my heart swelled up with hope that this was it, after tonight we would have Bella back.

"It's time to split up." Jasper didn't need to say anything else and I watched as Emmett grabbed onto Rosalie's hand and squeezed it tightly, the two of them following Jasper as his path veered off from ours, they were circling around the back of the large property while Edward, Carlisle and I went in from the front.

"Anything Edward?" Carlisle whispered as the tiny cabin came into sight and we stopped just in from the edge of the trees, waiting for the others to get into place before we could go in.

"Just the void. It's as though my thoughts are stuck in that same place as Alice's visions when I try and listen inside, even yours are more jumbled than they should be." he said and I sighed, whichever vampire of the two possessed this strange voiding talent making my anger skyrocket and my mind fill with thoughts of vengeance.

"The others are ready. Let's go." Edward spoke just loud enough for us to catch and we all flew instantly from our spot, our minds all focusing, the only thought in our heads was to get to Bella.


	8. Finding Bella

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** I've decided to keep this story rated M because of the mature themes.**

"_**The others are ready. Let's go." Edward spoke just loud enough for us to catch and we all flew instantly from our spot, our minds all focusing, the only thought in our heads was to get to Bella.**_

The sky was black no trace of a moon or stars behind the heavy clouds as we approached the place where Bella was being kept a prisoner, her heart beating erratically from somewhere within the house, shallow, raspy breaths accompanying it. I could also hear the two vampires inside the cabin arguing over whose turn it was to stay at the cabin and guard her while the other hunted. Neither of them wanted to stay and this argument was working to our advantage as we approached undetected.

It took us less than 30 seconds to reach the door and I could hear Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie running across the back of the property, ready to burst into the prison at the same moment as us. Edward was leading the way in our group and as he flung the door wide open I forced myself to stop breathing, the smell of Bella's blood permeating the air.

"What the?" I heard a hiss from the female but couldn't bring myself to even look in her direction, Carlisle and Edward were already after her, Jasper and Emmett taking on the male while Rosalie and I met in the living room, flying through the rooms of the cabin and looking for our Bella.

The sounds of screeching metal were loud and quick as the two vampires were quickly put to death at the same time that finally saw her in the last room. I understood instantly why Edward and Alice had been in so much pain during the few visions that they had seen of her. She was laying huddled in a ball on the floor, no clothes – not even rags – covering her body, chains attached to her wrists and ankles, keeping her a prisoner. Her body was marked with silver crescent shaped wounds, some of them older, some of them fresh, her skin was no longer the translucent pale color that we had often teased her about, instead it was now completely black and blue, bruised entirely except for the bright red marks, burns across her body.

Both Rosalie and I were at her side the second that we saw her, breaking the chains that had held her captive here for months, pulling her into my lap while Rosalie searched for a blanket, for something to cover her freezing body with.

"Mom..." her voice was hoarse and scratchy as she blinked her eyes open and looked up at my face. Eyes that were once a rich and deep chocolate brown color, now flat and lifeless.

"Ssh, it's okay now Bella, we're here." I whispered as Rosalie wrapped her up in a thin cotton sheet and I pulled her even closer to my body.

"Don't leave me," her eyes were wide with fear and I felt an icy tingle in my spine as I thought about what we had done to her, what our leaving her had caused her to endure.

"Bella!" Edward was by my side wrapping us both up in his arms as Carlisle came up behind him, placing his hand on Edward's back before backing off and leaving us with her.

"Let's get her out of here and out where Carlisle can look at her." I said pushing Edward back from us slightly so that I could stand up with Bella and take her to where Carlisle was waiting outside the room.

Once I got her out to the main room I placed her down on the floor atop one of the heat blankets that Carlisle had packed in his bag, watching as he quickly examined her, his face a mixture of sadness and anger. I could smell the sickly sweet scent of burning vampire flesh and at the realization that Bella's captivity was over, experienced a strange feeling of it being settled. For the first time I was almost pleased at the knowledge of their deaths.

"Wrap her up in this blanket." Carlisle said to me as he finished looking her over, "We'll take her back to the house and I'll look closer, but for now she appears to be stable and I want to get her to safety.

"I quickly wrapped the blanket that she had been laying on around her and wrapped a second blanket around that, knowing that we would be running with her and needing the warmth that they provided. Bella laid absolutely still as I pulled her back into my arms and she didn't say a word to any of us, although her eyes were watching us all curiously.

"Let me take her." Edward whispered as I prepared to leave this god-forsaken place behind, to get Bella to safety of our home.

Reflexively I felt my body recoil, pulling her tighter to me and hissing at Edward, the shock he felt at my response written all over his face.

"You did this to her. I'm taking her home." I stated and Edward reached out as if to grab me, but was stopped by Carlisle before he could.

"Let Esme take her, you can see her when we get back son," I heard him say as I took off, not wanting to waste another minute. I ran out the door, not looking left at the smoke that I could smell filling the air, not looking back at the place where Bella had been tortured, just looking forward, pushing myself faster than I usually ran to get her back to safety.

As I ran I could see Jasper to my right, his face as determined as mine and I knew that under any other circumstance he would have been the one to stay behind, to destroy the house and any evidence of our existence. But he like I, was hoping that by the time we returned to our cabin Alice would be back, waiting for him.

"Edward, go ahead and get a bed ready for Bella at the house. There's clothes for her in the car if you want to pull out something soft for me to put on her." I was still feeling defensive of her and didn't want him to continue following behind me as he had been, so instead I ordered him ahead, to use his superior speed to help his mate, to get things ready for her return.

Bella fell asleep on the way to the house and I was happy to see that Edward had done what I had asked and prepared a room for her, getting the bed ready and laying a pair of pajamas out for me to put her in. I did so quickly, discarding the blankets we had carried her in and wrapping her under the covers of the bed to wait for Carlisle to return. I sat beside her while she slept, not wanting to touch her for fear of hurting her, but needing to stay close. Edward sat down in the chair next to me and we both waited silently for her to wake up.

"Damn it Alice, where are you? She's dead! Why are you still stuck in that void?" I heard a crash just as we settled and I felt my heart shatter.

Alice. She wasn't better. Destroying the vampires that were hurting Bella hadn't helped her like we had all thought it would.

"I need to go and check on Alice." I muttered to Edward who eyed me warily, not wanting to anger me after my reaction back at the cabin. Standing up I placed a gentle kiss on Bella's forehead and went to the door, knowing that Edward wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her again. As much as my defenses said differently, I knew that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Jasper?" I asked gently as I opened the door to their room, seeing him kneeling on the floor beside the bed, his head in his hands as Alice laid exactly where we had left her. There was a large hole in the wall to my right and I understood the crash I had heard when I saw it.

"She's still not there." he sobbed quietly, his words muffled by his hands as he rocked back and forth.

"Oh Alice," I sighed coming closer and leaning over her.

"Come back to us Alice," I whispered as I stroked her head and gave her a gentle kiss. I knelt down next to Jasper next, pulling him to me and holding him while he sobbed. The strongest member of our family now the weakest as his love, his mate, lay in a bed inches away from him unmoving, unresponsive.

"We'll get her back Jasper. I promise." I vowed to him.

"I can't lose her Esme, I just can't." he said as he straightened up, and I followed as he sat next to her on the bed.

"We won't lose her Jasper, we just have to get her out of wherever it is that she's trapped." I told him and rubbed his shoulder for a second before leaving him and Alice and returning to Bella.

"How is she?" I asked the instant I saw Carlisle at her side connecting an IV into her hand. Edward was back in the chair beside the bed, holding Bella's other hand and I watched as his venom filled eyes watched over her, his own protectiveness of Bella making it difficult to allow Carlisle to do what he needed to do.

"She's starved, dehydrated, bruised and scarred. But there only seems to be one broken bone – her left arm, and I don't think that there's any internal bleeding. I'll have to do some more tests to be sure that there's nothing I missed, but right now I want to get some fluids into her and get her arm braced, the cuts stitched up." he said and I watched as he worked for a minute, before leaving the room and going downstairs to the living room past Irina and out the back door, sitting on the steps for a moment and thanking whatever God was up there that Bella was okay and asking him to help Alice now.

"Hello?" his voice was tired when he picked up and I realized that it was the middle of the night, but I knew that he would want to know right away. He wouldn't care about the time.

"Charlie?" I started,

"Did you find her?" he demanded, instantly more awake when he recognized my voice.

"We have her here with us Charlie, she's alive." I answered, a small smile appearing as I said the words.

"She's... she's alive? And she's okay?" he asked in response, his voice disbelieving.

"She's in rough shape, but Carlisle says she's going to be okay. We're going to be staying at our house here until she's okay to travel if you want to come and join us now." I told him and was surprised when I didn't get an immediate answer, but as I listened carefully was able to make out the distinct sounds of crying on the other end.

"And the... the people who had her?" he asked a minute later, sniffling as he spoke.

"They've been taken care of." I replied.

"How do I get there?" I gave Charlie the directions to our house and he told me that he was leaving right then. I knew that it would be a shock for him to see Bella when he arrived, but he deserved to be here for her.

"Esme," I heard my name and turned my head to see Carlisle coming outside to join me. Sitting next to me on the step he put his arm around me and I leaned my head into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent.

"Bella's going to be okay." he assured me as a sob slipped out from my chest, my heart aching at the torture that she had been through because of our family, at the state that Alice was in because of our decisions.

"What about Alice?" I asked as I thought back to her still form lying on the bed and Jasper's crumpled form beside her.

"I don't know. Maybe because she was already in the void when those... creatures... were destroyed she's been trapped. I don't know how it works, but there has to be a way to pull her out of her mind. Maybe once Bella's awake she will have some knowledge of how it works and be able to give us some insight so that we can figure out how to get Alice back." he sighed and I knew that he was frustrated. As a doctor with heightened senses, there wasn't much that my husband couldn't fix with humans, but in a situation like this he was just as helpless as the rest of us.

"It's going to take some time Esme, but I promise, our family will be whole again." he swore and leaned over, kissing me fiercely.

"Edward..." It was just a murmur as she said his name in her sleep and I pulled back from Carlisle, it was going to be a long few days.

"Alice?" While Bella's sleep talking had alerted me, it was Jasper's panicked cry that forced me up from my spot, caused me to race up the stairs, Carlisle's hand in mine.

"Is she..." Carlisle began as we stopped dead in our tracks at the sight in front of us.

"She's crying." Jasper confirmed and I watched as the steady flow of venom from her eyes and down her cheeks confirmed what we were watching.


	9. Connected

***All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.**

*** I've decided to keep this story rated M because of the mature themes.**

"_**She's crying." Jasper confirmed and I watched as the steady flow of venom from her eyes and down her cheeks confirmed what we were watching. **_

I was sitting on the porch looking out over the back yard again. The sun was now high in the sky, a small stream of light playing off of my skin, causing it to sparkle like diamonds, but I couldn't find it attractive, instead it only reminded me of my nature. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting out on a fallen tree at the corner of the yard, his arms wrapped securely around her. When they had returned in the night they had come into the house like us, with hopes of seeing Alice back to being her usual bubbly self. What they found was our family still shattered. Alice laying in her bed, Jasper's arms curled around her while tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Bella and Edward in a similar position, Bella's face also soaked with tears. Soon after their arrival back, Irina had left the house and I had come out to the porch to process the mess that our family still seemed to be in.

While we had spent time searching for Bella we had believed that once the vampires that had been holding her were destroyed, that Alice would be released, that we would all be filled with a sense of relief and a sense of calm knowing that Bella was safe with us. But it wasn't like that at all.

Carlisle had examined both Bella and Alice over the course of the night, watching as they both remained in what seemed like a deep slumber, both of them whimpering in sync with the other, both crying silently in their partners arms. Neither one of them awoke, and as time went on we all became increasingly worried. Jasper could no longer feel a void pulling him into Alice... instead he felt nothing coming from her at all, it was the same with Bella. And Edward could not see into Alice's mind, it was completely blank to him just as Bella's had always been.

And so they lay in their beds while we waited.

"I just don't understand." Carlisle said quietly as he again sat down beside me after another check on the girls. "It's as though they are somehow linked, somehow experiencing something in their minds. Alice should be waking up... Bella should be more responsive." he was rambling again and I took his hand in mine, knowing that he was frustrated with his inability to fix them, to figure out what was wrong.

I looked back across at Emmett and Rosalie, noticing how their hands were intertwined and they looked at each other with such depth that for the first time in their relationship they understood what they meant to the other. For the first time they were acknowledging what they could lose, what any of us could so easily lose. I squeezed my own partner's hand tighter and leaned into him.

"We'll figure it out Carlisle... they are safe and here with us. That's the most important thing right now." I was trying to remain strong, but it was difficult as I thought back to the looks on both Edward and Jasper's faces the last time I had checked in on them. My two sons, normally so strong, both of them broken and in pain at the thought of an eternity without the other half of their souls.

"I just don't understand..." I had never seen my husband this distraught as he rambled on about their current states, still trying to put the pieces together, still trying to heal what he didn't know how to heal.

It was with us all sitting like this that less than an hour later we heard a car turn onto our drive, moving quickly down the overgrown road. Sighing I stood up, Carlisle not moving from his place on the back porch as I made my way around the front of the building to where Charlie was stepping out of a rental car, his face tired, but his eyes full of a hope that hadn't been there before.

"Where is she Esme?" the words spilled out of his mouth as I moved to greet him and I felt myself grimace before I could control myself, Charlie's eyes not missing it, his face falling at my reaction.

"Don't tell me..."

"No Charlie, she's okay, she's upstairs." I spoke quickly to reassure him and lead him through the front door of the house, leading him into the living room and gesturing to the sofa.

"Esme, where's Bella?" he asked, refusing to sit, his head looking around the room frantically.

"She's upstairs with Edward, but Charlie I just want to let you know about her condition before I take you up there." I said carefully, again gesturing to the sofa and watching as he sat on the edge uncomfortably, his foot shaking nervously.

"Bella's in rough shape Charlie. Her body is completely covered in bruises and scars. She has been tortured over the past six months and her body is weak. She's been unconscious since we got back here, but Carlisle says that is probably the best thing, her body needs time to heal." I told him quietly, watching as his hands clenched into fists at his side, his face still pained.

"There's one more thing Charlie that I think that you should know before you see her. She's been crying since just after I called you. We don't understand it but Alice is also crying, and unfortunately has also been unresponsive. There is something that seems to be linking the two of them that we haven't been able to figure out yet." My voice cracked at the end of my statement and I felt Carlisle come into the room behind me.

"Charlie." he greeted roughly and Charlie acknowledged him with a nod.

"I'll take you up to Bella now." I said and stood up, waiting for him to follow me.

Charlie's reaction to seeing Bella was as I had expected it to be, his face trying to remain composed when he took in the sight of her, but failing as the first traitor tears began to fall. Edward had heard us coming up the stairs and had shifted so that he was now sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her hand in his.

"Bella." Charlie gasped and moved forward slowly, taking her other hand as he sat down in the empty chair to the side of the bed, his face now revealing a mixture of relief and sadness.

Feeling like an intruder I backed slowly out of the room, allowing him as much privacy as I could, going down the hall to check in on Alice quickly before returning downstairs where I made myself busy, tidying the house, ordering groceries to be delivered.

Charlie stayed upstairs with Bella for the remainder of the afternoon, Carlisle going up a few minutes after I had come back downstairs to explain in more detail Bella's current condition. By the time Charlie came back downstairs he looked completely disheveled, the hopeful spark that had been in his eye upon his arrival now faded, his eyes dull and tired.

"When do you think she'll wake up?" Charlie asked quietly as he ate the sandwich that I had made him. We were all sitting in the living room quietly, even Emmett and Rosalie had come inside to join us and speak with Charlie.

"I don't know Charlie." Carlisle answered honestly and Charlie let out a loud sigh. "Bella is the strongest person that I've ever met though, she's going to come out of this." he said and I nodded in agreement. She had survived six months with two very new and very dangerous vampires who not only tortured her, but drank from her as well. If she could hold on that long, then I had no doubt that now she would be okay, now she would come back to us.

As Charlie finished his dinner I watched as his eyes grew heavy and his head fell back against the back of the sofa, his face relaxing slightly as his exhaustion finally caught up to him and he began to doze off. Carefully I took the mug out of his hand and pulled the blanket off the back of the love seat and covered him with it, watching for a moment as his face almost seemed peaceful.

"Esme sweetheart." Carlisle's voice drifted to me as I stared out the kitchen window, lost temporarily in my own thoughts, my own guilt over the current situation.

I turned slightly to acknowledge my husband but chose not to speak as he reached me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest.

"I know that look sweetheart. Please, please don't blame yourself for this." he kissed the top of my head and I felt my body begin to crumble, any strength that I had was gone as I thought about my daughters upstairs.

"I can't help it. I'm scared that we're loosing them Carlisle, scared that they won't come out of this... and if we'd only... if we had never left... " I whispered into his shirt, my hands holding onto him as though I would drown should I let go.

"I know Esme, I know." it was unusual for him not to reassure me and with this simple statement I understood just how worried my husband truly was as well. Without saying another word he led me up the stairs and to our bedroom, pulling me to the bed and wrapping his arms around me, holding onto me as tightly as I was already holding onto him.

"Alice? Are you there Alice?" Jasper's voice broke us out of our private world early in the morning, pulling us out of the silent conversation that we were having and we both knew by Jasper's voice that something had changed down the hall.

"Jazz?" her tiny voice squeaked out just as we made our way to their room, the sight of Alice in Jasper's lap, her eyes open wide, staring at her husband in wonder causing an instant sob to escape my throat.

Jasper wasted no time in pulling her into his chest, wrapping her in his arms as he too began to sob into her head, his own relief at her awakening flooding the room.

"Alice, I love you so much." Jasper's voice cracked as he spoke the words and I felt Emmett and Rosalie drift into the room behind me as she pulled back and looked around the room, realizing for the first time where she was.

"I love you too Jasper." she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and looked down questioningly at her finger as she did so. "Where's Bella?" she asked a minute later, Carlisle stepping forward to examine her while we explained to her what had happened from Alaska until now.

"Where were you Ali?" Rosalie asked when we had filled her in on everything up until she had awoken.

"I was with her... with Bella." she answered and I know my face showed my confusion, the rest of the family's faces mirroring my own.

"We don't understand what you mean by that Alice, what do you mean you were with Bella?" Carlisle asked carefully coming back over to where I was still standing.

"At first... in Alaska... I was looking for Bella's future. It took so long to find her but then I couldn't see anything, like all of the possibilities were just simply dead ends. And then... I was trapped... like I was there with Bella even though I couldn't see her... it was like my mind was with hers only there was a wall between us and sometimes, sometimes I could get a glimpse of what was happening on the other side. And just now... just the past bit... she was showing me... I saw it all. I saw everything that they did to her, I watched and I felt as every bruise was made, every time they drank from her, every time they... raped her. Like she was replaying it for me to see." The room was silent as Alice finished speaking and I looked at my husband curiously. Could Alice really have seen all of that? Could her gift of foresight have changed, allowed her to see the past this one time rather than the future?

"I need to see Bella." Alice jumped up quickly, Jasper following as he held her hand, not willing to be separated from her for even a moment.

"She's in Edward's room." I said and she was gone down the hall, the rest of us following, crowding into the tiny room around where Edward was back to laying on the bed with Bella, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his eyes closed tightly.

"Bella," Alice spoke softly, her voice soft as she moved to Bella's side, taking her hand and rubbing it gently.

"It's time to wake up Bella, I know that you don't want to, I know that you're tired, but you need to sweetie. You need to let us know that you're okay in there. And I know Bella that you're hurt, that you don't think you can survive anymore but you'll be okay, I promise. And we're here, we're all here with you, we won't ever leave you again." Something in Alice's voice made my heart break, and I watched in amazement as somehow Alice's voice broke through to Bella, her eyes fluttering open and closed as she struggled against the dim light, her heart rate picking up slightly.

"You're safe now Bella, I promise." Alice spoke again and this time Bella's eyes stayed open, her eyes looking directly into Alice's face.

"Alice?" Bella's voice was nearly unrecognizable but at her single spoken word I wanted to jump up and celebrate the miracle that was currently taking place.

"You all should have just let me die." I was suddenly grounded again, her words punching me in the stomach.

**A/N: I know it's been a while since I've updated this story. My apologies! I'm hoping now to get back to updating more regularly again, so look for more updates soon!**


	10. Recovery

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

"_**You all should have just let me die." I was suddenly grounded again, her words punching me in the stomach.**_

"Stop pacing Esme." Carlisle's voice was soft as he reached his arms out and gently held my shoulders, stopping me from turning and retracing the path I had been walking repeatedly for the past hour. "You're wearing out the carpet." he tried to let me know he was only joking with a small smile but I could only glare at him.

"She hates us. Bella absolutely hates us." I ranted to my husband who was still holding me in place and I saw his face turn, his features taking on the same sadness and frustration that I also felt.

"_You all should have just let me die." _Bella's words rang through my head over and over, my heart shattering again at each repetition. After she had muttered the phrase, the only words that she spoke were the ones asking us to leave her alone. We had all left the room at her request, only Carlisle staying to examine her and Edward staying because he refused to leave her side. It was only moments later that she fell back into a deep state of unconsciousness.

I couldn't take the thoughts of Bella, the girl that I thought of as a daughter, hating us and soon I was on my knees, my hands twisted in my hair as I sobbed into Carlisle's shoulder. I didn't realize that he had come down to his knees at well but I knew that the leader of our family was feeling the same sense of loss as I was.

Carlisle spent the next little while rocking with me while I cried dryly for all that Bella had been through, for every bruise on her body, for every second that we weren't there for her when we should have been. When I had cried it all out, my sadness turned to anger and at that moment the current target of my anger made his way down the stairs and into the living room.

"You." I spat out and moved quickly to stand in front of him, my finger poking him in the middle of his chest.

"Charlie requested some privacy with her," Edward informed us in a dead voice, his body moving slow as though at any second he would bolt right back up to her.

_Look what you've done to her Edward. Look what you've done to our family. _For just a second I allowed the instinctual part of myself to take over, the part that Edward had always referred to as a monster, and she pulled back from him only to slam into him yet again. His body flew threw the air across the room and into the brick fireplace, shattering several bricks before he collapsed to the ground, his body unwilling to fight me.

Immediately following my assault on my son, I felt guilty and rushed over to help him up, regretting instantly the thoughts I had allowed myself to direct at him, for my violent behavior.

"I'm sorry Edward," My voice was filled with shame and my internal voice was echoing it as Carlisle and Emmett helped him stand up.

"You're right." he whispered and I saw the venom sitting in his eyes, glistening pools that showed his own sadness. "It is my fault."

I continued to apologize to Edward, my heart even further crushed as I realized how I had treated my son. He had been the only one aside from Carlisle who was there when I had awoken into this life, he had always held a special place in my heart. And now, now I worried that I had destroyed that connection that we shared. My words meaning more to him than those of the others. I was his mother in every sense of the word, knowing that I, at least on some level, blamed him for the falling of our family, hit him as hard as his own feelings on the subject.

When Edward had heard enough he slipped out of the house and I heard him in the forest, ripping trees from the ground, heaving boulders around, and his anguished sobs as whatever was going through his head continued to torment him.

"Do you know when Bella will wake up again?" Rosalie looked to Alice, her voice oddly soft, her beautiful face still marred with worry over the girl that she had always pushed away from her.

"No... I don't want to go back there... to her mind..." We were all still trying to understand what had happened to Alice during the course of her _visions_ and she had so far been unwilling to tell us any more than what she had said after she first woke up.

"Are you able to tell us what you saw Alice? You said that you saw what she had been through, everything. Can you tell us about it?" Carlisle asked her cautiously and I watched as her tiny form shrank back into Jasper's arms, a slight tremble moving through her body.

"No, I don't know, and she didn't exactly say it, but it felt like she asked me not to tell you all what happened, not to show... Edward." she shook her head as she spoke and I watched as her eyes squeezed shut tightly. The sight of Alice like this frightened me nearly as much as the sight of Bella did. Alice had always been tiny but she was a force beyond anyone, even the strongest men of our family. To see her curled into Jasper, fear rippling across her features again pounded into me how broken we were as a unit.

"Ssh, it's alright Darlin', we won't make you speak about it." Jasper soothed his wife when she turned her head into his chest, his hands rubbing up and down her back softly but it didn't seem to help as she sobbed quietly, occasionally shaking her head no as if to answer some unspoken question. The rest of us just sat in pairs, simply waiting for something to change.

It took two full days before Bella again regained consciousness and there was a collective breath released that morning when we heard her heart rate increasing and her dry, unrecognizable voice say Charlie's name. His sobs could be heard from where we waited downstairs and I couldn't help but hope that she would allow us to see her, allow us to explain our side, to apologize once she regained her strength.

"I'm sorry Daddy," her cry broke my heart as Carlisle and I stood, Edward following to return upstairs to her room. We had decided that everyone else would stay out so as to not overwhelm her at first, and they were all waiting anxiously on the furniture in the living room.

"I know Bella, I know, it's not your fault sweetheart." Charlie was reassuring her and holding her hand as we approached the room and Carlisle knocked gently on the door, Bella's head moving slowly and painfully to look in our direction.

"May we come in Bella?" my husband asked she appeared to consider his request before licking her lips and answering him.

"Only you and Esme." she spoke in her new voice, "Not him." her eyes landed on Edward who's pained expression flooded his face at her words before he turned and fled the room, returning to the grounds where he continued his rearranging of nature.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked cautiously as he came closer and stood at the edge of the bed, Bella's form trying to cringe back as he got too close for her to be comfortable.

"I'm pretty sure that I don't look half as bad as I feel." she snipped at him in response and I tried to keep myself from reaching over to hug her, to hold her and tell her that everything would be fine.

Bella shifted in the bed and eyed the glass of water that was sitting on the nightstand and Charlie moved to bring the straw to her lips, her slight pull of the liquid seeming to take all of her strength.

"We didn't know Bella... I'm so sorry that we didn't come for you sooner. We had no idea..."

"Where's Alice?" Bella's voice interrupted me mid sentence, her voice still hoarse and dry but better after the water.

"She's downstairs with Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie." I answered, curious as to why she wanted to know where Alice was, "Do you want her to come up?" I asked and she tried to shake her head no, wincing in pain at the movement of her neck and instead answering vocally.

"No... it's just... she... was there... near the end... she was with me." she said and I wondered what she was saying. It wasn't possible, she couldn't have felt Alice looking for her in her vision... could she? "She kept telling me to... hold on. She said you were coming. But they were finished with me. Vic... Victoria... missing... were getting ready to kill me." her sentences were broken but I understood what she was telling us. If we had taken any longer getting to her, we would have found a much different scene when we entered her prison. "I told Alice no... told her... let... me... die." A tear trickled down her cheek and she turned her head away from us, closing her eyes, shutting us out. A loud crash could be heard from outside followed by an agonized wail as Edward heard her words and I felt my own tears of venom once again pooling in my eyes.

The next several days passed in much the same fashion. Bella wouldn't allow us to apologize, to explain and requested that for the most part we leave her alone. Charlie spent most days sitting by her side, coaxing her to allow Carlisle to check her daily, to continue with the IV fluids and vitamin packs that he pumped into her. Convincing her to attempt to eat small amounts and continue drinking water regularly.

"She was asking to go back home again today. When do you think we'll be able to leave, return to Forks?" Charlie asked on the two week anniversary of her rescue.

"Soon," my husband answered, his answer unusually vague and I knew that he was nervous about letting them leave, as terrified as the rest of us that we would never see her again.

"I want to try and get her working on regaining some muscle in her legs, teaching her to walk again... at least the basics, give her some exercises to build back up some strength." he explained and Charlie nodded his head.

Bella had been particularly uncooperative when it came to trying to regain her strength. She had spent the past six months handcuffed to various pieces of furniture, parts of the cabin and unable to walk. With the addition of her malnutrition in that time she had lost most of the muscle in her legs and was angry at having to relearn basics like walking, but Carlisle wanted to ensure that she at least tried before we let her leave his care.

"I'm worried about her," his statement came as he threw his spoon into his stew and sighed deeply, his forehead scrunched in thought.

"She still won't talk to me about what she went through... only says that she wants to go home and get away from him. I still have to practically force her to eat and drink and she tells me that she wishes you had let her die." he growled out the last part and I felt my heart ache at what she must be going through, at the betrayal that she must feel and something ignited within me, something telling me to go to her, to tell her whether she wanted to hear it or not.

"I'm coming with you Esme." Alice's small voice still wasn't quite back to normal either, whatever she had seen from Bella still haunting her and she caught me by surprise when she appeared at my side as I stood. The two men were still sitting at the table, their faces both asking the same question about my sudden movement and Alice's sudden appearance.

"We're going up to speak with Bella," Alice informed them and they stayed in their spots, their faces stunned as I squared my shoulders and prepared to go to my daughter, to act like the mother she needed right now.

"Bella." I stated as we entered the room and Alice and I each took a chair to the side of the bed. Bella's eyes were closed and her breathing even but her heart-beat gave her away.

"We know you're awake and it's time for us to talk." I spoke firmly but with a touch of love in my voice, hoping that she would know that I wasn't being deliberately harsh, but that she needed to face what happened.

"I just want to go home Esme. I just want to forget... _everything."_ she spoke so quietly that I almost missed what she said and my heart clenched in understanding, but I wasn't going to give in this time.

"Seven months ago Bella our lives changed... all of them. Seven months ago we left you alone in Forks hoping that you would live the life that none of us had the chance to live, hoping that you would be safe. It was stupid and it was the biggest mistake that any of us has ever made and we will never be able to make up for what we caused to happen to you." I was still speaking firmly and as I did so I watched as Bella's eyes opened and she glared at me in what can only be described as pure hatred, her lip trembling with the velocity of her anger.

"_My safety." _she sneered at me and I was taken aback by the force of her own voice. "_My humanity." _I felt a shiver run down my spine at her words but I was happy that she was at least speaking to me, even if it was in malice. "_A mistake._" she spat and Alice looked at me worriedly.

"Did you tell her Alice?" she turned her head and Alice shook her head no, her eyes glistening with tears that could now unexplainably fall.

"You left for my safety and my humanity? Was it for my safety and humanity that your son lead me into the words and broke me? Reminded me of just how unworthy I was of his perfection, his _godliness, _ that he referred to me as a pet, used to distract him from the tedium of his life?" her words were laced with venom and surprising strong, given her condition and the fragility of her body. I wasn't quite sure that I was hearing her right until Alice nodded her head to assure me that I was. My fury towards what Edward had done was radiating out of me when Bella spoke again.

"It was about my safety and humanity when you **all** decided to leave me without any protection, lost in the forest. And was it for my safety and humanity that you all just moved on with your life and left me in the hands of the most vicious _monster_ that I've ever met?" she demanded and I hung my head, knowing that she was speaking the truth as she knew it.

"Bella. None of us moved on. We tried... but we couldn't. You Bella, were the missing piece to our family... the key to completing us." I felt myself losing control of my emotions as my memories of our miserable time in Alaska poured back into my mind. "We messed up when we left you Bella... especially Edward... but we were not happy and moving on with our lives and if we had known, if we had even the most remote idea of what you were going to go through we would never have left you. You mean so much to all of us Bella." I exclaimed emotionally and when I looked down saw that she had tears streaming down her face.

"Alice." she turned her head slightly and looked to the person who had been her best friend. Alice didn't look up however, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"Alice... you saw it. You saw what they did... what she did. I know that you were with me there at the end, that you saw it all when I opened up... I could feel you there." her voice was quieter now and I was again left wondering where her thoughts were going.

"I saw Bella... I wish I didn't and I wish that you had never gone through that..." Alice replied and I heard Edward's growl from outside the building the longer that our conversation continued on.

"Did you see the day that she finally smashed the last of my will Alice?"


	11. Painful Memories

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

"_**Did you see the day that she finally smashed the last of my will Alice?"**_

The house was silent as we all waited for something to break, for either Alice or Bella to say something, but I knew it was pointless. I recognized the silent conversation that resembled the ones that Alice and Edward had perfected years ago, and although I had no idea _how_ they were doing it, I didn't doubt that it was taking place.

"_Did you see the day that she finally smashed the last of my will Alice?" _I turned the question over in my mind as I waited for one of them to say or do something. Different scenarios popped into my head each time I repeated the question, my imagination becoming more and more horrific the longer it went on and I heard Edward beginning to growl again from downstairs.

Finally something broke and Bella's eyes broke contact with Alice, looking down to her hands and speaking quietly.

"Tell me how you found me." Edward was in the doorway of the room an instant later, his face a mixture of confusion and anger as he looked to me pleadingly.

"Bella, I don't think that's a good..."

"Shut up Edward." her voice was colder than I expected and my son flinched back at her tone, obviously as surprised as I was.

"Please. Can you just tell me about how you found me and got me out of that place." she asked again, this time looking up to my face and I sighed loudly, hoping that maybe telling her would force her to face it and begin to deal with things, to help the healing process begin.

"We were in Alaska when we decided to return to Forks." I began and she closed her eyes and swallowed thickly. I looked at Alice who nodded her head for me to continue.

"We were all there except for Edward,"

"He was in South America with her..." I was surprised that Bella knew about that, none of us had spoken about Edward's time away from us or how he had killed Victoria. Bella opened her eyes and looked at me, silently urging me to continue.

"We all felt pulled to return to Forks to check on you, to apologize for leaving after your birthday." I felt strangely sick as I recalled how miserable we had been before our return, realizing that it was nothing compared to what Bella had been put through during our time away.

"Once we all decided to go against Edward's request and return, Alice attempted to look into your future for the first time since leaving... but she couldn't find you. That was when Rosalie called Charlie and we learned that you had gone missing the same day that we left." I continued to tell Bella the story, about Alice becoming locked into her mind, her visions and then about coming to New York. She sat nearly motionless during my descriptions of our search for her and I was beginning to worry that maybe Edward was right, maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"I was supposed to die the next day." Bella's voice was just barely louder than a whisper and I could barely contain my growl at the news.

"I wasn't totally with it at the end." she paused and I let her collect herself so that she could continue with the story. "But when I heard their plans, I couldn't help but be relieved... they knew that something must have happened with Victoria because they couldn't reach her and they were sick of keeping me around." She swallowed audibly and brushed the tears away roughly with her hand. "I wanted that... and Alice... she kept telling me... just hold on, she kept saying that you were coming." Another pause and I saw Alice crying silently beside me, the wonder of how she was managing to cry at all still sitting as a mystery in the back of my mind. "When I heard you arrive, I knew it was you before you got to me, I heard Riley and Taylor as they were being ripped apart and I knew that there was only one way that would happen. But when you found me, when you picked me up, I didn't know whether to be angry or relieved." She stopped talking again, taking in several deep breaths and squeezing her eyes shut tightly. I didn't know whether she was finished speaking or not and the silence was deep, awkward.

"Bella?" I whispered carefully.

"I didn't expect you to come Esme." She spoke softly still and I wasn't sure if I understood what she was saying to me, was she unsure about just myself coming, or any of us? "When Edward took me to the woods by my house to end our relationship... it hurt, it ached, I felt my very soul being ripped apart. But it was more than that when I realized that you guys had all gone as well... that there was no goodbye, no thought as to how involved in your family I was, how much it hurt to know that I was never any more than a passing human who didn't mean anything to you." Once again I found myself wishing that I could release the venom from my eyes in the form of tears as Alice was currently doing.

I didn't answer Bella right away. I already knew that I had failed her, that even though I had thought of her as a daughter I had allowed this nightmare to happen, had allowed her to be tortured, not just by Victoria, but by abandoning her in the first place.

"I failed you Bella. We all did." She looked at me curiously as I spoke the words and I again waited a moment before explaining them.

"Do you remember what your birthday gift from Carlisle and I was?" I asked her and she furrowed her brow, her confusion showing as she answered my question.

"Plane tickets to see my mom..." her voice trailed off at the memory and I watched as she tried to understand where I was going with this.

"Yes. We bought you plane tickets to go see your mother because, well, because the very first time that I met you, that I saw you with Edward, I knew. I knew that you were his mate, that no matter how much Edward fought us, that you would be one of us eventually. Oh, Edward fought it, denied that it would ever happen, but I knew that he needed to be with you in the same way that I need to be with Carlisle, that Alice needs to be with Jasper, that Emmett needs to be with Rosalie." I paused and watched as understanding dawned in her eyes, "I gave you those tickets so that you could see her again, so that when it came time to join us, to move on, you would have no regrets about not being able to see your mother one last time." I heard Edward cursing from outside, his anger at what Carlisle and I had thought back then surfacing, adding to his frustration over what had happened.

"Your birthday changed everything though Bella." I heard Jasper stand up and begin to pace from downstairs and knew that this part of the conversation was going to be difficult on him. "None of us expected what happened and it scared every one of us. After Edward took you home we all had a meeting and Edward was insistent on leaving to keep you safe. We all tried to reason with him, to explain that you were already one of us, but it was no use. So we did as he asked us to." I paused and took a deep breath, remembering the arguments, the pain that had ripped through me the day we left Forks, at the incomplete feeling that we had all felt during our months away.

"We failed you Bella." I said again. "I've been away from Carlisle for short times and I know the pull that I feel to return to him, the feeling of being torn in half if we remain apart. I believed foolishly that Edward wouldn't be able to bare the pain and would return to you, but he is the most stubborn creature I've ever met, and as the weeks went on, his resolve to let you be happy only grew stronger. Not one of us will ever be able to apologize for how strongly we failed you though." I hung my head and felt my hands for fists, the uncharacteristic anger that I was still feeling towards Edward, towards Victoria, towards the situation making me feel on edge.

"What do you want from me?" her shaky voice startled me and I looked to Alice who was busy wiping the tears from her face with a thick handkerchief that was beginning to disintegrate from the venom.

"All that I've ever wanted for you Bella is for you to be happy, for you to live whatever life you are meant to live. Whether it's as a human or a vampire, with us in your life or not." I said simply and watched as she shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"And if I asked you to change me? To make me like you... right now... would you?" she asked timidly, chewing on her bottom lip while she awaited my answer.

"If that was what you wanted, then yes I would do that." I spoke carefully, wondering if I really would be able to do that for her, the relief flooding me as I heard Carlisle's voice drift up from downstairs, "_I would do it." _Edward's growl reverberated through the house at Carlisle's words but I ignored it, knowing at this point that what Bella wanted was more important.

The room was quiet again as she thought things through, her eyes closing as she concentrated. This had been the longest conversation that she'd had since waking up and I was sure that it was a lot for her to process.

"I'm so scared Esme," she shifted nervously in the bed and I looked up at her in surprise, watching as she fingered first one silvery mark on her arm and then another.

"Oh Bella, you're safe here with us, we won't let anything happen..."

"No, I'm not scared of Victoria, or James, or Riley, or Taylor... I'm not afraid of any of them... I'm only afraid of you... of him." she said softly and my heart ached at her words.

"I'm terrified of Edward, terrified of the pull to go to him that I still feel, after everything that he said, after he left. I feel him outside of the room at night, pacing in front of the door and my heart feels as though it needs him, as if it can't function without being with him and I hate it, it scares me. I can't let him back into my life, I can't let him hurt me again." Something loud smashed downstairs but I didn't care, Bella sitting in front of me and talking to me was the only thing that mattered right now. "I'm scared of you Esme. You were always a mother to me, more so than my actual mother most of the time and I had hoped to one day officially join your family... but then you left and that crushed me almost as much as Edward's leaving did... and then you returned. When you found me, you were the first one that I saw and I was so angry and sad and happy and hurt all at once, but when you picked me up, when you freed me from that prison I felt like a little girl in her mother's arms again, like it was the only thing that could make the monsters disappear." I felt my heart break at her description, knowing I felt much the same way when I found her. "And Alice... I don't know Alice. I remember being in that place in the beginning and I thought you would find me Alice. But as the days kept going, as Victoria left to taunt Edward, and they continued to torture me it hurt worse to know that you weren't coming to help me. You always saw everything, so I assumed that you just didn't care. And then you found me in your mind and I felt it... but I was so confused. I didn't want you there, I didn't want you to help me anymore... but I couldn't let you go, so I just kept holding onto you, keeping your mind there with me." Bella's face was soaked in tears and I was speechless, not knowing what I could say to make things okay.

We sat in silence for several minutes, the entire house reeling from the effect her words had on each of us, understanding her anger and her hurt. Finally I couldn't contain myself any longer, the sight of her heaving shoulders, the force of her sobs wracking through her body had me by her side, picking her up and pulling her into my lap, cradling her like the hurt child she really was as I sat on her bed, Alice joining us as we all cried together.

Alice and I stayed with Bella, letting her take out her anger and her insecurities on us until she fell asleep again, the mental exhaustion taking it's toll on her. But as I laid her back in the bed and tucked her in I had a feeling that this had been good for her to do, it had been something that she had needed to do, words she had needed to speak.

When we returned downstairs everyone was waiting for us and Charlie gave me a tentative smile before he left the room, going upstairs to sit with his daughter for a little while before going to bed himself.

I looked into the room at the family and saw Edward sitting by himself in a corner, his head buried in his hands.

"_I'm sorry Edward," _He didn't acknowledge my thoughts at all and I tried again, "_Edward, I know that you thought you were protecting her, that you only wanted her to live a full and happy life. I'm sorry for taking my anger out on you." _He still didn't acknowledge me, instead standing up and turning to go back outside into the woods, most likely to hunt and take out his aggression before returning to where he would sit by Bella's door while she slept.

Carlisle moved quietly to my side as I watched Edward leave, his arm moving around my waist to pull me closer to him as I wished once again that I could fix this, heal the brokenness among us. Once Edward was out of sight my husband turned me around to face him, looking directly into my eyes, leaning down to kiss me softly and then move to whisper in my ear.

"It isn't your fault either Esme," I looked up at him questioningly and he chuckled quietly.

"I don't need Edward's ability to know what you were just trying to tell him." he smiled down at me before returning his lips to my own and pressing more firmly than before, my mind turning to focus on the man in my arms, on his lips that were now trailing down my neck, across my shoulder. Somewhere in the house I could hear the other couples reconnecting as well, Alice and Jasper talking softly in their room, Emmett and Rosalie attacking each other in the basement.

At some point Carlisle had led me to our bedroom and we had spent the night in each other's arms, the need to have the other near nearly painful. The way my husband wrapped his arms around me never feeling tight enough, his body never close enough.

By the time that the sun began to poke through the trees, I was back in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for both Charlie and Bella.

"I was thinking..." Carlisle began, approaching me from behind and kissing the back of my neck softly as I whisked the eggs in a bowl.

"And..." I pressed with a small smile.

"I think that based on what Bella said last night, what she said to Alice... I think that our little Bella might be somewhat talented." he said and I felt a wave of happiness when he referred to Bella as _our little Bella_. "She said that she was holding Alice there with her and I wonder if she is somehow slightly telepathic... she could obviously sense Alice there with her... her mind had to have something to do with it and I the only thing that I can think of is that she was using her mind to hold Alice's mind where she was within reach.

I nodded my head as I continued to make breakfast for the humans, the thought familiar to me as I had also suspected something similar when Bella had spoke to me before.

"It's more than that." I hadn't heard Alice come into the room and I jumped slightly at her voice sounding from just behind us.

"I agree," Jasper's voice followed and Carlisle and I turned to look at them both.

"It was more than just her mind holding onto my own." Alice repeated sitting down on a stool beside where I was working. "It was as though we were somehow connected, like there is something linking me to her... even now. I don't think I could leave her alone again if I tried." Alice explained and Carlisle looked as though he had a thousand questions running through his mind at that thought. "I'm not sure what exactly or why... but something has connected us beyond just being friends or even being sisters... it's like we're supposed to be in the others' life. I can feel her pain, she was able to show me what happened to her, let me see her mind essentially... and I can cry." she continued. "I don't know Carlisle, but I think it's something to do with our differences... she's connecting humanly to me and I'm connecting on a vampire level to her." I didn't quite understand but it looked like even Alice didn't understand it so I nodded my head as Carlisle's face showed his thoughts racing, his mind trying to explain what Alice was feeling.

"Alice? Esme?" Bella's small voice broke us out of our silence and I left the food to Carlisle to continue cooking while Alice and I moved to go to her.

"I need to use the washroom," she looked embarrassed when we entered the room and I wondered why she had called us both. Normally she called Rosalie to help her, something about Rosalie's previous feelings for her making her more willing to accept her help for tasks such as this.

I moved awkwardly to her side and went to lift her up but she shook her head at me and I pulled back, worried that I had hurt her somehow.

"I want to try and walk, can you and Alice help support my weight?" she asked and looked at her in shock, unsure where this had come from. Alice moved to my side and I shifted Bella so that she was sitting in the side of the bed, her feet touching the floor.

"Just go nice and easy, she probably can't support much of her own weight." Carlisle's voice made it's way up to me as Alice and I each placed an arm around Bella, her own arms moving to hold us, her legs trembling as she attempted to stand up.

"Let's just go slowly." I said calmly as she straightened up into a standing position, her face tense with the concentration this simple task took.

"I'm okay." she blew out a breath as she lifted her right foot slightly off the ground and moved it forward, taking her first step. It was nineteen steps to the bathroom and when she sat to do her business I saw the small smile begin to form on her lips, a touch of pride at her accomplishment showing on her face.

When she was finished she asked for our help bathing and getting dressed in one of the tracksuits that Alice had bought for her. When she was dressed and I had braided her hair down her back she stood by herself, using the vanity for support while she looked in the mirror and scowled.

"Can I come downstairs for breakfast?" she asked turning around and slouching slightly as she moved one of her hands away before I moved to her side and let her use me as a crutch.

"Of course." I smiled a small calm smile, but inside my body I was jumping up and down in excitement. This was the first sign of the old Bella we had seen since finding her and I could only hope that this was the true start of her healing.

**A/N: I hated writing this chapter because I felt it was very repetitive, but they were conversations that I felt had to happen in this story in order to move on. Also, I know that there are some unanswered questions about what happened to Bella while she was being held captive and I promise that they will be answered soon! Enjoy and thank you to anyone who reviews!**


	12. Nightmares and Reality

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

***Just warning you that Bella describes a little bit of the torture that she went through so if you are squeamish I suggest that you skip this one.**

"_**Of course." I smiled a small calm smile, but inside my body I was jumping up and down in excitement. This was the first sign of the old Bella we had seen since finding her and I could only hope that this was the true start of her healing. **_

The journey downstairs and to the kitchen was slow and awkward with Bella trying to get there with her own strength, but eventually we made it and I sat her down at the table, Carlisle bringing over the breakfast that he had finished making.

The kitchen stayed quiet as Carlisle and I cleaned up the dishes and kept an eye on Bella while she ate and the rest of the family went about their business, trying not to spoil Bella's new efforts at recovery.

After Bella had eaten a small portion of her food she sat and pushed the food around with her fork, her mind seeming to be miles away. As I heard Charlie approaching the kitchen I turned around just in time to see his startled expression as he took in the sight of his daughter sitting there, eating her food quietly as though nothing had happened.

"Bella?" His voice was surprised and I moved to take Charlie's plate out of the oven and bring it over to him at the table. "You're up?" she moved her eyes to look up at him and sat back in her chair before replying.

"Yeah, I'm up Dad," she sighed and dropped the fork to her plate, "I'm sorry for being so stubborn before... I'm ready to try and get better now." she spoke up and Carlisle squeezed my shoulder gently, the happiness I felt at her admission nearly making me giddy.

We left the two of them in the kitchen after that and tried not to listen in on their conversation as Bella apologized for her behavior since being found and Charlie cried gratefully at the fact that she wanted to live again, she wanted to heal.

The days passed by and I felt a sense of peace knowing that Bella was finally accepting the fact that she was alive and able to recover. She still spent most of her time in her room, but she did come down for meals and would occasionally sit in the living room with us while we watched a movie. The only exception being if Edward was anywhere in the room. And while I was happy for Bella, happy that she was alright, I also felt an ache at knowing that our time with her was drawing to a close.

Her relationship with her father had strengthened, but with us, nothing had really changed. She accepted mine and Alice's help, Carlisle's medical advice and Rosalie's presence... but it was always within a tense atmosphere, all of us avoiding the questions around us, afraid to upset the momentary peace that we were feeling.

One week had gone by since my confrontation with Bella and I was beginning to feel nervous about Bella's desire to leave and return to Forks with Charlie. Carlisle felt much the same way that I did and I know both Alice and Edward were in agony at the thought of letting her go again after we had just found her.

"I wish we could help her with these nightmares." Emmett glanced over at Bella who was napping on the couch, her head frantically turning from side to side, her arms and legs thrashing around under the blanket I had covered her with.

It wasn't the first time we had witnessed this display from her, but we didn't know what we could do to help her through them. We had tried everything we could think of, even asking Jasper to try and douse her with a strong dose of lethargy to put her into a deeper dreamless state, but even that hadn't helped.

When they had started this time we had all been in the living room watching a movie, Edward moving around upstairs, his frustration about Bella not accepting him in the room reaching all of us. She had dozed off almost as soon as the opening credits had begun and I had moved her to a more comfortable position, placing the blanket over top of her to keep her warm.

"I wish she would at least talk to me... or anyone about them. But she won't. She hasn't said a word about what happened to her while she was there and I don't think that's good for her." Charlie spoke up from the chair that he was occupying. He was becoming antsy to get back to his home in Forks but I also knew that he was terrified of taking her home by himself, his hope that we would return to Forks as well was obvious.

"Alice, can you tell us something?" I asked and looked at my daughter who was as usual curled up under Jasper's arm. Her eyes partially glazed over as they often were while Bella slept. At my request though she pulled out of whatever it was she was seeing and shook her head no, refusing to fill us in on what details she knew.

Since her awakening Alice had changed nearly as much as Bella had. Alice had become quiet, the exuberance that we had come to expect from her gone as she spent most of her time sitting quietly with Jasper, her eyes haunted by the things that Bella had shown her.

"Alice... Please... tell us something, anything that can help her." I hadn't heard Edward come into the room and watched him as he cautiously moved to Bella's side and sat on the floor beside the couch, taking her hand in his as she slept, the thrashing quieting instantly as her body reacted to his presence.

"I... I... Can't..." she whispered as she continued to shake her head as though she was shaking the memories away. Jasper shifted so that he was glaring at Edward, the force of his stare causing a shiver to travel up my back.

"Please Alice. I can't stand to see her like this." he begged her softly.

"She's dreaming about her first few days at the cabin with Victoria and Riley." Alice took her time speaking and I was surprised that she said anything this time after refusing for so long. "Riley and Taylor were both so new that Victoria had to spend the first weeks with Bella training them to get used to her blood so that they wouldn't kill her. She made sure that both of them fed regularly, bringing their meals to the cabin for them so they would be forced to resist killing Bella while eating. She would take blood from Bella and spread it around the cabin, forcing them to become immune to her scent. The girl, Taylor... she wanted to leave... she didn't trust Victoria. But Riley was convinced that if they left Bella then Victoria would kill them both... if we didn't find them first." I know my face reflected the horror that I felt at what had been done to Bella, but I had a feeling that Alice was just barely touching on the things that she had endured.

"Bella's dreaming about that time right now. She's remembering how much she fought against Victoria at first, how she hurt herself by trying to pull out of her grasp, how she swore that we would be coming for her soon, how she plead with us to find her, for me to see her and help her." Alice's voice cracked with the last sentence and I fought back the urge to cry out, the guilt eating at me.

I was about to urge Alice to continue to tell us more about what Bella had gone through when Bella's shriek pierced the air, her body bolting upright on the couch as her eyes fluttered open and looked around the room, her gaze settling in shock on Edward's surprised expression.

No one moved while we waited for her reaction, the vampires in the room all holding their breath as Bella's face changed from shock to anger to sadness and back to anger.

"What are you doing Edward?" she hissed out, snatching her hand out of his grasp and backing up to the corner of the couch.

"I'm sorry Bella. You were having a nightmare and I couldn't stand not being near you, being unable to do anything to comfort you." he apologized and stood up, backing up towards the wall.

"You wanted to be near me and comfort me?" she hissed again and I was startled by how wild... how feline... she sounded. "What about when I was in Victoria's hands Edward. Did you want to be near me and comforting me then?" she demanded and I watched as most of the family began to stand up and move discreetly out of the room.

"Bella... I thought..."

"Oh I know what you thought Edward. You thought that I was a mere mortal who couldn't possibly reciprocate the feelings that you had for me, my humanity being more important than remaining by my side." she paused and used a hand to push her hair back from her face, her body twisting angrily towards Edward, something in her needing to be released.

"You thought that you were chasing Victoria away to South America so that she couldn't hurt me anymore... but really Edward she was chasing you, trying to taunt you into returning to find me... but you didn't believe that did you? So instead of coming to find me... you ran further away. And during that time do you know what I felt? I felt a pull to go to you that was so painful I could hardly stand it and yet you kept pulling." she ranted at him loudly, her voice growing stronger, her eyes more wild as she let it out.

"Bella... I..."

"Edward. She sent texts, emails, pictures. I saw you every few days, tracked you as you moved farther and farther away from me, as the pain nearly ripped me in two while I was chained to a wall." she screamed and I looked over at her in surprise.

"What I don't understand though Edward is that Riley... he took pictures too. He sent them to Victoria so that she could taunt you into returning with images of what I looked like." she paused and her voice lowered slightly as she spoke again. "The first few times it was just pictures of me chained up, I was cut up and bruised but it wasn't anything that I couldn't tolerate. After that though Victoria gave them ideas and they would bruise me, they would pose me for the pictures and then send them back to her so she had new material for taunting you with. But even that... that didn't break me because I foolishly believed that you would come back when you saw what was happening, that you cared enough to rescue me from that. The first day that Riley raped me, Taylor videotaped it and sent it to Victoria. I thought I was going to die while she had to hold him back from killing me, from ripping me into two with the force that he used. After that first time I began to accept that you weren't coming back, that I really was just a distraction for you." she was working hard at fighting back the tears at her memories and I felt the anger building back up inside of me at the things Bella described to us.

"The day that I finally gave up though Edward... it wasn't being hurt physically, being hit or thrown or broken or violated. It was a few days before I began to sense Alice with me. They were getting tired of Victoria's games and I was beginning to accept that it wouldn't be long before I would be dead. Victoria had one last plan to try and bring you back. They videotaped this one too... did you see it Edward?" I looked at Edward and his face was horrified, his normally pale skin whitened even further, "Taylor brought their usual food back but the little girl was still alive. She looked like a younger version of me... maybe eight years old. She was crying, begging me to help her when she was bitten and brought over to me. I could see the venom beginning to spread as the little girl started to scream in pain from the burning. I was given the choice to either drink from the little girl myself and put her out of her misery or let her change, become one of you." Both Bella and Alice had tears flooding down their cheeks and I felt as though I was going to be sick from Bella's description of what had happened.

I refused at first but her cries were heart-breaking, so Taylor, she made a small cut on the girls other arm and held her over my mouth, forcing me to drink from her. When the blood started to burn my mouth from the spreading venom they pulled her away from me and finished her off in front of me. They left her body there for days, reminding me of what I had done to her. And still... you didn't come back. That was the day that Victoria finally broke me." I moved to sit with Bella, unable to mask the horror that I felt at what had happened but unwilling to let her sit holding herself together.

"I'm so sorry Bella... so sorry." his words were muffled as his fist pounded against his own thigh, his other hand pulling on his hair.

"Did you see it Edward?" Carlisle turned to look at Edward and I couldn't quite distinguish the look on his face, something somewhere between a mixture of hurt and disgust.

"I saw some of it... bits and pieces... but Victoria guarded her mind, making it sound like she was planning these ideas, not actually seeing what they had already done. I never would have imagined that she had Bella... that I... oh God.. I made it worse by trying to stop her. I moved farther away when I should have returned. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I drew it out, I made it all so much worse." he groaned and sank down to the floor, dropping his head into his knees.

I looked around the room from my new spot on the couch with Bella. Alice was huddled with Jasper opposite us, Alice crying gently into Jasper's side. Edward remained crouched on the floor, his sobs causing his shoulders to heave. Carlisle was sitting in his chair by the fireplace, his expression concerning, as he looked from Bella to Edward and back again. Thankfully Charlie had left the room before Bella's descriptions of the torture and Emmett and Rosalie had gone to the kitchen with him as well, Emmett moving outside in anger after only a few minutes.

"I don't understand Edward. Why didn't you check on me? You said you left for my safety but you never even called to check on me, never asked Alice to look for me. You saw parts of Victoria's mind but you never thought to make sure that she wasn't just bluffing." Bella sounded tired as she spoke and I pulled her into my side, needing to comfort her as much as she needed to be comforted.

I didn't know what to say and the deafening silence around me confirmed that none of the others did either, all of us feeling shocked at the extent Victoria had gone to in trying to exact her revenge.

The silence didn't lift as Bella's occasional sobs and tired breathing changed back into a slow and steady rhythm as she drifted back to sleep, my arm keeping her close to me after hearing the true extent of everything that Victoria had done. I shifted her so that she was laying down, her head laying carefully on a pillow on my lap, Carlisle placing the blanket back over her sleeping body.

"You." Emmett's voice whispered the words but there was nothing soft about it as he stormed into the room, grabbing Edward by the collar. I didn't have a chance to react before Emmett was dragging Edward out the back door and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. My anger at Victoria once again directed at Edward, the thought that he had seen what Bella had been going through in her mind making me want to be sick. He had done nothing to help her when all along, in a way, he knew.

**A/N: Okay, I know, dark dark dark. The good news though is that after this chapter everything is going to start getting better. I just felt that Bella really needed to get everything out and the family needed to realize the true extent of what Bella had gone through while under Victoria's care. I also know that this is a short chapter but I thought that with the extent of what Bella tells the Cullens it needed to be fairy short and on it's own. **


	13. Common Pasts

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

"_**You." Emmett's voice whispered the words but there was nothing soft about it as he stormed into the room, grabbing Edward by the collar. I didn't have a chance to react before Emmett was dragging Edward out the back door and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. My anger at Victoria once again directed at Edward, the thought that he had seen what Bella had been going through in her mind making me want to be sick. He had done nothing to help her when all along, in a way, he knew.**_

Emmett managed to hit Edward several times, sending his body flying through the woods outside, splintering trees, leaving massive divots in the ground; before Carlisle came out and stopped him, pulling Emmett back inside and attempting to speak to Edward. Edward however was in no mood to talk and I heard him leave, taking off running until he was out of our hearing range.

After hearing the details of the torture that Bella had gone through I refused to leave her side that evening, letting her sleep in my lap until she once again began thrashing around. At that point I gently lifted her up and carried her to her bed, sitting beside her as her words rolled around inside my head, the thought of it all making me feel ill.

"I think it's time to let her go home with Charlie." Carlisle's voice startled me out of internal thoughts and I felt his hand resting on my shoulder softly.

"I don't want to let her go again." I whispered up at him and I could again feel the venom pooling in my eyes at the thought of walking away from her a second time.

"I know sweetheart." his hand squeezed my shoulder gently and I laid my head back against his stomach and we both remained there quiet, watching as she slept, watched as she moved around and finally understood how awful her nightmares must truly be.

"I need to hunt." I broke the silence several minutes later and Carlisle moved around to my front, lending his hand to me while I stood up. I took one last look at Bella who was at the moment still and turned to leave the room as Emmett and Rosalie entered and took our places at her side.

For the first time since finding Bella, I took my time hunting, moving a little further away from the house and taking out some of my anger on the animals that I killed. I could feel Carlisle following behind me as I hunted, watching me with concern in his eyes as he stayed silently in the background and let me take out my frustrations on the innocent animals.

When I was finally finished I could feel the emotional exhaustion setting in and I turned around to look at my husband, my eyes finding his and seeing an understanding hidden there. Blinking my eyes rapidly I tried to dissolve the venom that was still pooled there and refusing to fall as he came to stand in front of me, pulling me into his arms and enveloping me in his embrace.

No words were needed as we stood in the middle of the forest holding each other, our grief at what Bella had endured and at being faced with letting her go equal between us. As we stayed that way, wrapped in each others arms I felt a slight sense of relief settle over me. My husband, the most kind and gentle man was with me, holding me, he was there for me.

I looked up at his face and saw that his beautiful topaz eyes were locked on me with worry. Reaching my hand up I gently cupped his cheek and whispered how much I loved him, his eyes filling with his own relief that I seemed to be okay now. Leaning down his lips met mine in the softest of kisses as he pulled me even tighter to his body and I pressed equally hard into him, wrapping both arms around his neck tightly.

It only took an instant after that for Carlisle to push me back, pressing my body against the trunk of a large tree, taking me as his in the way that we both needed at the moment.

"Are you alright Sweetheart?" his voice was concerned as we re-dressed and worked to smooth out our clothes and hair the best that we could. It had been intense as he took me in the forest and I knew that we had both needed to restore that connection after the stress of the last several weeks.

"Yes... I'm alright." I smiled at him as I walked back towards him and wound my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.

"Thank you for that," I whispered softly as I felt him plant a light kiss on the top of my head. "I needed that and I'm so thankful that I have you." I looked up to see his eyes shining down at me, a small smile on his lips.

"Are you ready to head back to the house now?" he asked a few minutes later and I shook my head softly. "No, I think I'm going to go and find Alice." I didn't know exactly why I wanted to see Alice but something inside of me was pulling at my heart, telling me that I needed to go to her.

"It's possible that her and Jasper have already returned to the house." he looked at me warily and I once again shook my head at him.

"Call it a mother's instinct but I think she's still out here." I said quietly and then looked through the darkness that surrounded us, opening up my senses and getting a feeling for what direction to go. Tentatively I took a step to the east and then adjusted my body just slightly more to the north before taking another step and knowing without a doubt which way to go.

"May I come with you?" My husband asked as I began to move quickly through the forest, adjusting my direction as I twisted and turned around trees and stumps. I nodded my head and continued forward, feeling that I needed to find Alice, to go to her and Jasper.

"Sometimes I think you are a very talented tracker." Carlisle muttered as I began to feel a very strong sense of grief and worry surrounding us and I knew instantly that we were getting closer to them, that only Jasper's emotions could feel that strong.

"I'm not a tracker... My children just pull me to them when they need me." I replied, telling him what I had told him many times before when he had suggested such a thing.

"Whatever you think..." he smirked from behind me as we both came to a sudden stop in a tiny clearing, a small stream running across the middle. Sitting on the edge of the grass in front of us were two of my children, Alice wrapped up in a tiny ball, her arms secured tightly around her legs, her head buried in her knees. And Jasper, his arms wrapped tightly around her as he sat on his knees, sobbing into the top of her head.

"Jasper?" I called out softly as I began to move slowly forward to the two of them, wanting to warn them before getting too close.

Jasper's head snapped up and I felt the heaviness of the grief that had been surrounding us get pulled back, his sobs slowing as he fell back and shifted into a similar position as Alice, his feet pulled up and arms wrapped tightly around his legs.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that anyone was out so far from the house." he apologized and I noticed the cracking of his voice. Seeing that Alice hadn't moved since our arrival I went to her side and reached my hand out to gently stroke her back, hoping to comfort her.

"What is it Jasper?" Carlisle's voice was concerned as he moved to Jasper's side and sat in the damp grass at his side. However before Jasper could answer him I felt Alice begin to tremble before she turned and grabbed my arm with a shriek, throwing me into the air and across the tiny open space. I landed hard on my back, the shock of what had just happened filling my mind as I tried to understand why Alice had just attacked me like that.

"Esme!" Carlisle appeared by my side, his face hovering over mine as he inspected me for damage. Even knowing that I was a vampire, his protective side was taking control as he whipped around and took on a defensive crouch in front of me.

Finally the shock of what had happened wore off and I sat up, looking across the clearing to see Alice back in the same position, her head once again buried in her knees. The only difference was that this time Alice was Jasper's lap, his arms securing her there as he whispered calming words of assurance to her.

Gradually Carlisle and I both stood up and once again made our way slowly back to the pair, stopping several feet away in case Alice suddenly attacked again, and sitting in the grass across from them.

"Jasper?" I asked and he looked up at me apologetically, continuing to hold his wife.

"She's remembering." He stated simply and I wondered for a minute if he was going to explain what it was exactly that she was remembering.

"We were out here talking, I had encouraged her to talk to me about what she had seen in Bella's mind," Jasper sighed as he started his explanation. "She got through it and she was again crying," he gestured to the holes that the venom had burned into his shirt from where her tears had fallen. "Suddenly she started screaming and flipping out, it was obvious that she was having a vision and when she pulled out of it she was feral. I've never seen her look so... so... wild." he paused and looked down at Alice who looked so weak, so fragile... nothing like he was describing.

"She told me that she remembered. She had a vision of the past... of her human life." I felt myself gasp at his words as Carlisle pulled me into his side again, holding me tightly.

"How much did she see?" Carlisle asked and Jasper shook his head at the question, his eyes still trained on his wife. "I don't know exactly. She's been in and out of her visions for hours now." he looked up at me apologetically. "At times like a minute ago, it's as though she's actually living the vision and she's become violent towards me as well... I'm sorry Esme." he said and I nodded in understanding. In essence, it wasn't me that Alice had attacked, she obviously thought that I was someone from her past.

"She managed to tell me some of what she was seeing before she slipped back into the visions earlier," Jasper was speaking quietly and I knew that this must be extremely difficult for him to be going through.

"She recalled when her father and step-mother sent her to the asylum, some of the treatments that they performed on her. They tortured her in that place... but it was nothing compared to James and Victoria." he spat their names out and I looked at him in surprise. Of course we had known from the video that James made when he attacked Bella that he had attempted to kill Alice, but we didn't know that Victoria had been there as well.

"Yes Victoria. James and Victoria were regulars at the asylum that Alice was held in. The one who changed Alice... Henry... he tried to protect her. James and Victoria were allowed to feed from the other patients at the hospital whenever they were in the area but Henry never allowed them to touch Alice." Jasper's expression was pained and I watched as Alice began to struggle against his hold, Jasper sending out waves of calm that flooded the entire clearing to settle her down.

"James didn't like Henry telling him that he couldn't have something so he made it his mission to torture Alice. He would distract Henry in one area of the hospital and Victoria would sneak into her room, or the other way around. Both James and Victoria began to feed from her, taking her blood, sucking out the venom. The would break her bones and threaten her... it became a game for them. During one of these torture sessions Alice had a vision of Bella. She saw Victoria taking Bella when we left town but couldn't decipher it. Henry tried to stop them from getting to Alice and finally one day he had enough and took her out of the asylum... but James was right behind him and he knew he had to do something... to save her. So he bit her as he ran." Jasper was choked up as he described what Alice had gone through and I once again felt sick to my stomach at the thought of those two monsters, those demons from hell, and what they had put not one... but two of my children through.

"That was all that she told me before she fell back into her visions." Jasper sighed and we watched the pair silently for a minute before Alice shifted slightly, her head raising to look up at Jasper and then around the clearing at us.

"Alice?" Jasper asked her tentatively and she sprang up, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. I could hear her sobs and watched as her shoulders heaved heavily and Jasper's hands rubbed up and down her back.

"I'm... I'm sorry." she apologized quietly once her cries had quieted and she turned to look at us.

"Are you alright Alice?" Carlisle asked cautiously as Alice wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, wiping away the venom that was still rolling softly down her cheeks.

"I... I saw it all." she whispered nervously looking down and Carlisle and I both nodded.

"Yes, Jasper's been telling us what you told him you saw?" Carlisle questioned and she lifted her head slowly to look at us again.

"Yes... but so much more... all of my human life... every vision I had as a child... everything... I saw it all..." she paused and swallowed thickly as the tears continued to flow. "I saw my father as he made the arrangements for my mother's murder, I saw both James and Victoria's pasts... I saw you Esme when you jumped from the cliff... and Bella... I saw so much from Bella's life... so much just kept coming at me, I don't understand it." she bit her lip nervously and I couldn't help but notice the habit that she had picked up from Bella.

"Extra abilities and gifts have been known to develop over time," Carlisle spoke with a slight reassurance to his voice and I was grateful that he was remaining calm because I felt just as panicked as Alice looked at this change to her gift. "Perhaps your gift is changing, growing, becoming everything that it always could be and allowing you to see more than just the future." he spoke slowly and it made sense to me. Maybe this was just something that Alice needed to learn to control the same way she had learned to control her visions of the future.

"I want to turn it off. I want it to go away. I don't want to see the past or the future or anything anymore." the words were spoken so quietly that I almost missed them, but when I heard them I was surprised. Out of the three gifted children in our family, Alice was the one who had always enjoyed her gift. Even when she didn't always see something pleasant, she had never before said that she didn't want her visions any longer. Jasper had been known to regret his empathy and Edward his mind reading... but Alice... Alice had always been grateful for her extra sight.

"Alice you don't..."

"Yes I do." she interrupted Carlisle before he could continue. "I've seen enough. I don't want to live with this any longer. It's too much... too much responsibility." her voice was getting louder and I watched as she stood up and began pacing. "I couldn't do anything to save myself back then. I saw it... I saw everything before it happened and it did no good. And now... now I'm seeing things from the past that can't possibly help anybody... the only thing that they are doing is torturing me with things that I thought I wanted to remember... but I was wrong... so wrong and now I would do anything to forget it!" By the time that Alice had finished her rant she was screaming through her tears, her hands were tangled in her hair as she tugged on it as though it would help her to forget.

"Alice..."

"No. Please. I just need to be left alone for a little while to deal with all of this." her voice sounded tired as she pleaded with us. "Go back to the house. Bella's going to wake up soon and you need to tell her that she can go home now. I'll be back in a couple of hours." With that Alice turned and began to walk away, her back to all of us.

"Alice wait..."

"Jasper, go back to the house with Esme and Carlisle, I love you but I need to be alone." she whispered without looking back at her husband who had jumped up to follow her but was now frozen in place.

"Alice?"

"Please Jazz, just go."

**A/N: Okay, I know I promised that this story was going to lighten up a little bit after the last chapter but I almost totally forgot that I had written this chapter. I know it's a little bit off from the main story... but this is all important information to the storyline. It will all tie in together eventually and make sense. I promise! (I HOPE!). Next Chapter: Bella gets to go home, but where does that leave the Cullens?**


	14. Laughter

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

"_**Jasper, go back to the house with Esme and Carlisle, I love you but I need to be alone." she whispered without looking back at her husband who had jumped up to follow her but was now frozen in place. **_

"_**Alice?" **_

"_**Please Jazz, just go."**_

The expression on Jasper's face as he watched Alice run away from him, from us, was heartbreaking and I moved to his side and wrapped him in my arms.

"Come on, let's head back. Alice will be back when she's sorted through some of this." I tried to assure him but I could feel the emptiness of my own voice and I knew that I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Alice who had always been so consistent, had always been one of the rocks in the family, had just walked away from us. But it wasn't the fact that she needed time that was bothering me, it was how broken she had looked, how her voice had cracked when she had wished away her gift. Another one of my children was hurting and there was nothing that I could do at the moment to help her aside from making sure that Jasper returned to the house with us.

It didn't take long for the three of us to get back to the house and I was surprised to see Edward standing on the porch and looking in through the window. I was about to say something when I heard a light giggle come from inside the house followed by Emmett's booming laughter. At the sound of it Carlisle, Jasper and I all moved quickly to the same set of windows that Edward was standing at and watched in amazement as Bella sat cross-legged on the floor with her back to the couch laughing as Rosalie told her about her about the story of Emmett and the helicopter. A story that we were all familiar with and always made us shake our heads.

"I can't believe she's actually laughing..." I spoke in amazement as she let out another giggle.

"It's genuine... it's the first time I've felt any happiness coming from her since we found her." Jasper confirmed from behind me and I watched Edward as he pressed his hand against the window and closed his eyes. It was evident that he wished that he could be in there with them, laughing beside her.

We watched them for a little while longer until Bella's stomach began to growl and her and Rosalie moved into the kitchen and then we made our entrance, Edward being the only one to remain outside.

As Bella ate her breakfast Carlisle asked her questions about how she was feeling, assessing her condition to make sure she was okay to leave and she announced that she felt much better after getting everything out the previous night.

When Carlisle told her that he thought that she was ready to return home she smiled brightly and jumped into Charlie's arms before the smile faded and her eyes darkened.

"So... this is goodbye?" she asked and I watched as the tears filled up in her eyes and she tried to blink them back, her nose instantly reddening with her sadness.

"We want that to be your decision Bella," I spoke quietly and took her into my arms, wrapping her up in a warm hug.

"When we left before... we didn't give you a choice Bella. Even though we love you and thought of you as a part of our family, we abandoned you and we don't want to do that again. We want you to know that we consider you a part of our family and we want to keep you in our lives this time... but we understand if you don't want the same thing." her tears broke through and she gripped tightly onto my shirt as I finished speaking and I knew then that I had my answer. I wasn't losing my daughter again.

"Will you come back to Forks with us?" the words were muffled as she spoke into my shirt but I couldn't hold in the smile that appeared as I heard them.

"Here, let's sit down and talk about things for a few minutes." Carlisle guided Bella and I back into the living room to sit down on the couch with Charlie, Emmett and Rosalie following behind us.

"Are you sure that you are alright with us remaining in your life Bella?" Carlisle asked gently and Bella lifted her head, nodding it vigorously.

"I know I've been horrible to you all since you... since you helped me escape. But it was only because I was hurt and angry... and terrified that you would all just disappear again." she sniffled and Rosalie came over to hand her a tissue.

"I'm so sorry you thought that Bella!" I exclaimed as I understood her continuing hostility towards us.

"When we decided to return to Forks, it was because we missed you, it was before we knew that you were missing and it was honestly as though a piece of our family was gone." I turned her so that she was looking at me as I spoke to her and I saw her eyes widen in understanding. We had told her this before but this was the first time that she looked as though she actually believed what I was saying.

"Bella, we made some foolish decisions before and none of us will ever be able to apologize for what happened because of them. But what we all want," I gestured around the room, "is to keep you as a part of our family for however long you would like to remain. I don't know yet how it will work with us returning to Forks as well, but we will figure it out." I assured her and for the second time that day I saw her smile back at me.

"What about Edward?" her face fell at the mention of his name and I watched from the corner of my eye as he stiffened outside.

"Again Bella... it's your decision whether or not you want Edward in your life." I said and she nodded her head thoughtfully.

"Do you know where he is? I'd like to speak to him if that's okay?" I sat back slightly shocked as she spoke the words and looked at Carlisle before glancing to the window where Edward looked just as surprised. Carlisle nodded his head and I saw Edward move quickly coming around to the front door and hesitating in the entrance of the living room.

"Edward's right here." I gestured towards the doorway and saw her eyes widen as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"We'll give you some privacy." Carlisle spoke up and stood to leave the room with Charlie, Rosalie and Emmett. As I stood to leave Bella looked at me and asked me to stay with her. Although I was nervous about being in the middle of what they needed to talk about I was also more than happy to stay there with her and simply adjusted myself so that Bella was sitting up in her own space but I was within reach of her if she needed me.

"Bella?" Edward asked as he stood nervously by the entrance, his hands raking through his hair.

"Sit down," she said quietly and Edward moved slowly into the room, taking a seat in the chair across from us.

The room was silent as Bella gathered her thoughts and Edward waited patiently, his fingers again moving through his hair as his worry over what Bella had to say grew.

"I'm still angry at you Edward," she began in a surprisingly strong voice.

"I know Bella and I'm..."

"Let me finish Edward." she interrupted him and closed her eyes to put her thoughts back together. "I'm still angry at you for the way that you treated me. For the decisions that you made on my behalf because you thought that they were for the best. I'm angry that even though you knew that I wanted to become like you, that I know I'm still supposed to become one of you... that you thought you could change that. But it isn't only that Edward. You lied to me and you disregarded my feelings. Even when you were hunting Victoria you again were doing what you thought was best for me instead of listening to what our connection told you to do." Her eyes remained closed as she spoke and I felt proud of her for being able to tell him this.

"I know that you can feel the connection because I feel it too. Even now, even after everything... I still feel it and I still feel the pull to you." Edward wore a look of surprise on his face and I smiled at Bella as she opened her eyes and looked first to me and then to Edward.

"God help me but for some reason I still love you Edward and I still want you in my life." Bella was again crying and I handed her another tissue, avoiding looking at Edward's face. "I'm not ready to spend time with you or to build back a relationship with you, but I want you to know how I feel, I want you to know that I do love you." She put her face in her hands and I took that moment to pull her back to my side. She was so brave and so strong and I was beyond proud of the way that she had just spoken to Edward.

"Bella... I..." Edward began to speak and then slammed his mouth shut, his fingers pulling on a chunk of hair at the top of his head. "Bella... I never stopped loving you. I made so many mistakes Bella and I know that I will never deserve your forgiveness, but I will spend forever trying to make it up to you." I was surprised as Edward moved forward and pulled one of her hands away from her face, taking it into his own.

"I'm sorry Bella. I love you." he said and I watched in wonder as Bella launched herself at him, startling him and almost causing him to fall backwards before he caught her and wrapped his arms around her waist while hers wrapped around his neck.

"I'm sorry Edward." she pulled back a minute later and used a tissue to wipe her cheeks. I could see the look of disappointment on Edward's face as she pulled out of his arms and stood up, moving towards the door.

"I'm not saying never... but I need some time." With those words she turned and left the room, going to find Charlie to tell him that she was ready to leave.

Two hours later and Bella was buckled into the front seat of Charlie's rental car. We had spoken to Charlie and assured him that we would be joining them in Forks in a few days. Carlisle and I both felt that Bella and Charlie should have some time to re-connect and didn't want to crowd Bella. After they had left though, the house felt cold and it didn't take long for us to clean up and close it down again.

"Esme?" Edward's voice was hesitant as he leaned against the door frame casually, his eyebrows knit together. We, along with Carlisle had been packing up the house and preparing to return to Forks to be closer to Bella. Emmett and Rosalie had left earlier, returning to Alaska to properly close up the house and pack up a few of the things that we wanted to bring back to Forks.

Alice had returned to the house just after Emmett and Rosalie had left and requested that she and Jasper have a few days on their own. She assured me that they would meet us in Forks in about a week, and I knew that she wouldn't have requested this leave if she didn't need it.

"Esme..." Edward began again and I felt guilty for the way my thoughts had gotten distracted as I waited for him to pull his own thoughts together.

"I know you're still angry with me Esme... and I don't blame you. But I want to apologize for the way that I've treated you and Bella and the family. Not just recently... but always. Everything that has happened with Bella has made me realize how conceited I've always been because of the way that I can read minds. I was wrong to think and behave in such a manner and I'm truly sorry for all the damage that I caused because of it." His head was hung in shame and although I agreed that he was right, that he had used his gift to convince us that he knew best, I also felt that if I wanted our family to begin to repair itself, that it was time to let go and forgive him.

"Edward, you can be the most stubborn person I have ever met, and you have made your share of mistakes. But none of us are without fault. To hold your decisions against you when we all played a part in what happened would be hypocritical of me. You were my first child when I entered this world and I still think of you as my son." When I looked up at his eyes I was surprised to see the relief flit through them followed by tears as he reached out and I gathered him into a hug.

"I'm sorry Esme," he said again as he pulled back, but I could see the heaviness that had begun to lift off his shoulders.

After out talk we finished up the rest of the house quickly and as we made our way out to the car I didn't dare to look behind me. I was ready to move on past this recent time in our existence and I felt for the first time in a long time that maybe, just maybe our family would be alright after all.

**A/N: Yay. So forgiveness is beginning to happen as well as some healing. Everyone is on their way back to Forks and things seem to be a little calmer you to everyone who has taken the time to review this story, it always boosts me up to read the comments that you all leave!  
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	15. Healing in Time

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

_**After our talk we finished up the rest of the house quickly and as we made our way out to the car I didn't dare to look behind me. I was ready to move on past this recent time in our existence and I felt for the first time in a long time that maybe, just maybe our family would be alright after all. **_

We drove directly to Forks, arriving at the old house the next morning and I smiled as I walked up to the door and unlocked it. But instead of feeling happy to be returning to our home, when I first walked in I was immediately assaulted by memories of Bella's disastrous 18th birthday and I choked back a sob at what that day had started. Moving through the house I tried to quickly discard those thoughts and focus on happier ones, the ones I had of the summer before we left when Bella had practically lived at our house and everything had seemed so perfect, all of my children so happy.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when my cell phone began to vibrate in my pocket and I placed it to my ear in concern when I saw Bella's name come up on the small screen.

"Bella?" I asked worried that something was wrong, that something had happened already and we hadn't been there when she needed us.

"I'm sorry to bother you Esme..." she began quietly and I heard her sniffle from the other end.

"You aren't bothering me at all dear." I tried to reassure her but I was terrified that she had somehow been hurt again. "Is something wrong? Have you been hurt?" I tried to keep my tone calm but I could feel the panic rising and knew that Edward and Carlisle must have both also picked up on it as they entered the room and looked at me expectantly while I waited for Bella's reply.

"Yes... No... Yes... Sort of..." her answer made no sense and I could see that Edward was ready to take off and go to her. "I'm sorry to have bothered you... it's nothing." she seemed unsure and it was different from the way she had been acting for the past several weeks, her voice wobbly and her words sounding so vulnerable.

"Bella dear, what is it? What's happened?" I spoke a little more firmly and once again she sniffled on the other end. I was just about to ask a third time when she finally spoke up.

"I... I called my mother..." she confessed so softly that I almost missed it, but suddenly her tears, her sadness... it all made much more sense.

Charlie had told us about Renee's reaction to Bella's disappearance and to say that I was appalled was an understatement. Apparently when Bella had first gone missing she had come back to Forks and participated in the search, but had given up after only twenty-four hours, telling Charlie that she had probably just decided that it was time to act like a teenager and ran away. He hadn't heard from her again and when he had tried to call her to update her on his progress in the search, she had simply continued to brush him off.

"Oh Bella..."

"I... I called her and I told her what happened. I mean... I didn't tell her about vampires and stuff... but I told her that I had been taken and tortured and... and raped..." she paused and sniffled again and I felt my anger building up at what she was saying. "And you know what she said to me?" I didn't have a chance to say anything before she continued, "she told me to stop lying and pretending to be a victim, stop pretending that I wasn't off with some boyfriend and own up to what I did." Bella was yelling now and I could hear both Edward and Carlisle beginning to growl from across the room. "Then she tells me that she's pregnant and that I should be celebrating with her instead of trying to _steal the spotlight."_ she continued to rant and my heart broke for her. She had been through so much because of us and now... now her own mother refused to even believe her.

"I'm so sorry Bella," I began but she cut me off. "When you found me Esme... I called you mom. I did that because... because you were always more of a mother to me than she was... you still are." I could hear her crying on the other end of the phone and I wanted nothing more than to be there with her, to wrap her up in a hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

"Bella, I know that nothing can take away the hurt from your mother's words... but we love you Bella, so much. And you are my daughter. Nothing will ever make me think of you in any other way." I promised and heard her sniffle out a quick thanks as she took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to bother you..." she spoke again and my heart once again cracked. How could she possibly think that she was bothering us, that I wasn't happy that she had called me, that she had needed me as much as I felt that our family, that I, had needed her.

"Bella, do you want me to come over? We're back in Forks now. And you aren't bothering me, you could never bother me by needing someone to talk to." I asked her nervously and waited patiently for her to answer me.

"You would come over just because I needed you?" she asked cautiously and I tried not to smile at her silliness. She had been so strong, so independent, and so stubborn in New York. Now she seemed so meek and afraid.

"Of course Bella. Any time. If you need me, I promise I'll be there." I said firmly and I heard her sigh on the other end.

"Thank you Esme. I really appreciate that." she said softly. "But I think I'm just going to go hang out with Charlie for a little while." she said and I felt a brief disappointment at her rejection.

Throughout my _life_ there had been periods where time moved by fast and other times where it seemed to move slowly depending on where we were and what we were doing. But over the next few days time didn't just pass by slowly, it seemed to crawl by, dragging on as I wondered whether or not my family would ever return to the way that they had once been.

Almost as soon as I had hung up from speaking with Bella on the day of our return, Edward had taken off into the woods to head for his mate's house. Promising not to invade her privacy and her time with her father, he had felt a need to protect her and ensure that she was safe by staying within a close proximity to her, circling the perimeter but staying a safe distance away.

Carlisle and I spent the next two days alone in the house, reconnecting with each other, preparing the house for the return of the rest of the family, and just keeping busy. On our third morning in Forks Emmett and Rosalie had returned, Emmett's obnoxious voice more like it used to be as he joked about them interrupting our _alone_ time. I was grateful for his humor as it began to soothe some of the tense atmosphere, lightening the mood considerably.

On the fifth morning back Alice and Jasper surprised us all by returning earlier than they had originally planned. They were quiet about where they had been and although Alice seemed slightly more alive, she was still very different from the exuberant girl that we had always known. Her eyes were still haunted and she had refused to talk about anything that she had seen, terror gripping her at every uninvited vision that she was pulled in to.

On the eighth morning back, Edward arrived back at the house soaking wet and frustrated with his inability to help Bella through her nightmares. He had kept his word to me and allowed her privacy with her father, but once she had settled in for the night he had felt pulled to her side and been forced to listen to her screams of agony from the edge of the trees on their property, refusing to break his promise to keep his distance.

"Edward?" I asked gently after knocking on his door and peeking into his bedroom. His hair was still wet from his shower and as disheveled as ever as he pulled a black sweater over his head. He was moving quickly, obviously anxious to get back to his post by Bella's house.

He didn't pause in his movements when I entered the room, moving to pick up his discarded clothes and place them in the hamper.

"Edward, talk to me. Are you alright?" My thoughts echoed my words, concern filling my face as he continued to move silently through his room, tidying up quickly, his face still contorted in pain.

"They still torture her." He finally spoke up and I looked at him in confusion before understanding dawned on me.

"Her dreams?"

"Every night I hear it as her heart races and she screams in pain, telling them to stop hurting her, begging us to help her." his voice dropped lower and he finally stopped moving, flopping down on his bed roughly and raking his hands through his hair.

"The worst part is when she wakes up from the dreams and she's sobbing. Sometimes she cries out in frustration... asking questions like 'why her'... and knowing that... knowing that there's nothing that I can do to help her with this... knowing that I can't even comfort her." he sighed and closed his eyes, swallowing thickly as though he was trying not to break down.

I didn't know what to say as I also felt completely unsure of how to help her through these nightmares – these memories, knowing only that time would help her. My thoughts towards Edward flowed with encouragement though, encouraging him to just be there for her when she decided that she was ready, for him to continue to make sure she was safe and to respect her wishes.

Half an hour later we were still in the same positions, Edward on his bed, eyes closed. Myself leaning against the wall, midway into the room... both of us lost in our thoughts until we heard the low rumble of a truck turning onto our driveway.

"Is that Bella's truck?" Emmett's voice was booming as the truck continued to come closer and I looked to Edward for confirmation. The sound was familiar to us, we had heard it dozens of times before, no other truck quite sounding like the behemoth that Bella was so fond of.

"It's her." his eyes snapped open and he looked at me, his confusion written all over his face before we both ran downstairs and out the front door, Carlisle joining us as we waited on the porch for the truck to crawl to a stop.

As we waited for her to cut the engine I could feel Edward fidgeting nervously beside me, his obvious concern that something was wrong radiating off of him.

"Calm down Edward." Jasper's voice floated out from inside the house and I could feel a very light dose of calm come our way just before the door to Bella's truck was heaved open and Bella stumbled onto the drive, gripping the door to steady herself.

"Bella?" Carlisle was the first to move towards her, walking slowly so as not to scare her as she stood there holding the door to her monster of a truck, her knuckles white, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"Are you alright Bella?" he asked again but there was still no answer and I gasped as I saw her body begin to crumple, my husband moving to catch her before she could hit the ground.

Then I saw the marks.

**A/N: So something happened to Bella, next chapter we find the family beginning to pull back together. Sorry for the long delay in getting this up. It's been one crazy Christmas season. Next chapter is also a little longer again.**


	16. Gashes

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

_**Then I saw the marks. **_

Edward and I both took off to where Carlisle was now standing and holding onto a limp Bella, her head lolled up against his chest as he turned and met us, not hesitating before carrying her quickly into the house.

Looking closer at the strange marks I held my breath as the smell of Bella's blood permeated the air around us, spreading quickly into the house as Carlisle set her down on the sofa to look at her injuries. Her clothes were ripped to shreds and I watched in horror as Carlisle gently tugged what was left of the flimsy cotton, tearing her shirt off and softly prodding the long marks that stretched from her left shoulder diagonally down to her right hip.

Four long, deep gashes that resembled... I let out the breath I had been holding and carefully inhaled the air, careful to keep control of my blood lust while I tasted the scent of her blood mixed with something else... something foul... something familiar.

"She's lost a lot of blood. It's a miracle that she made it here in this condition." Carlisle muttered under his breath and I felt Edward move behind me, a deep growl reaching my ears.

"Mm...mm...mom..." I looked back over to Bella, her eyes still closed, her voice rough and dry.

"It's alright Bella. We're here, you're going to be okay." I grabbed her hand while Carlisle continued to clean out her injuries, beginning to stitch closed the open wounds.

"It... it... hurts." she moaned in pain and I squeezed her hand gently to re-assure her, using my other hand to wipe the hair off of her forehead.

"Can you tell us what happened Bella? Who did this to you?" I asked quietly, already knowing the answer. I heard something break in the background as Edward's growls ceased and he waited for her to confirm what we all knew.

"My... my dad thought it would be good for me to have company while he was at work today." she struggled to get the words out, wincing every so often in pain. "he... he called Jake to come over..." she opened her eyes then and looked at my face, silently begging me for understanding. "I... I don't know what happened... Jake... he's a... he's... he's not human either." she was crying now and I shushed her as Edward began to move towards the door, no doubt ready to kill the boy who had done this.

"Edward?" Bella surprised us both by the volume in her voice and Edward stopped in his tracks, turning to look back at his mate.

"Can you stay with me?" her words were pleading and I smiled encouragingly as he came over and took my place holding her hand, unable to resist her request.

"Is she alright?" Rosalie threw the question at me as I moved into the kitchen, my own anger at the creature that had hurt our Bella growing out of my control as I thought back to her words, to the gashes that now marred her body. Emmett stood behind Rose awaiting my answer. They had come outside when they had heard the urgency in our voices but had been giving her privacy once Carlisle had started to look at her.

"Carlisle's stitching up the gashes... they look bad but he said that they don't go too deep, they didn't hit anything major." I tried to keep my voice level as I spoke but I could hear the anger seeping out into my tone. "She's in a lot of pain though..."

"Emmett... stay here." Rosalie's voice demanded and I turned to see Emmett's hand reaching for the door, the muscles in his neck tight as struggled to regain control of his temper.

"Those _dogs_ hurt Bella." he stated through his teeth and I fought against my own instincts which were to go with him and kill the animal that had done this to her.

"There are too many of them Emmett... we need to wait and figure out what to do from here. Find out more about why Bella was attacked before we go after them." I tried to speak calmly but the rage was still building within me. My daughter had been hurt again and it was unacceptable.

"Esme, can you come in and help Bella upstairs to clean up and get changed." Carlisle spoke quickly from the other room and I moved to go back to her, hearing the two familiar sets of feet approaching the house from the across the yard as I did so. Alice and Jasper had left when we brought her in, Jasper not wanting to be tempted by her blood.

"Oh, Rose. Can you call Charlie and update him on where Bella is... tell him to come by when he's done his shift and we can explain to him what happened when he gets here." I asked before continuing back to where Bella was still laying on the couch. Her face was more aware, although slightly more pained looking as she continued to hold Edward's hand, a blanket now covering her body.

"Come on Bella, let's go upstairs and get some clean clothes." I said and Edward leaned down, kissing her hand before standing and letting me pick Bella up, cradling her gently in my arms. As I took off up the stairs I heard Alice and Jasper come inside, Emmett filling them in on what had happened immediately.

After helping her to wipe down the blood that had caked on all over her body I found a pair of loose cotton pajamas and helped her get into them, holding her arm to steady her the entire time. She didn't speak while we were alone and I was getting worried about her silence.

"Do you want to stay in here and sleep a little bit or do you want to go downstairs?" I asked when she was finished. She didn't answer me right away and instead walked slowly over to the large mirror, looking at her reflection, lifting her shirt to look at her torso which was now wrapped in gauze.

"I want to become like you... I want to be changed." the words were spoken quietly but without any hesitation as she now looked past her own reflection and to mine, gaging my reaction to her words.

I knew without a doubt that if she was serious, if this was what she really wanted that we would change her. With everything that she had been through, there wasn't one of us within the family that wouldn't honor that request, the only exception being...

"Bella? May I come in?" Edward appeared at the doorway and I smiled as her face changed at the sight of him. There was a slight fear over his rejection... but more than that, a recognition of her mate being close to her, a connection so strong between the two of them that she visibly relaxed at his presence.

"Bella?" he prompted a moment later and she nodded, gesturing for him to come forward.

"Here, why don't you sit down Bella," I guided her to the plush chair and helped her sit down, watching her face contort with pain at the motion.

"Will you change me Edward?" she turned to her head to him this time but kept my hand in hers. I could hear the silence echoing through the rest of the house, everyone else waiting no doubt for Edward's answer to her question.

"Yes." he hesitated before clarifying, "Not today though." he spoke firmly and I knew how hard it was for him to say those words, to go against what he believed. But after coming so close to losing her once, I knew that he was unwilling to let that happen again.

"When?" her voice was disbelieving as she challenged his statement.

"When you're ready Love. When you've talked to Charlie about it, once you've had time to talk to us and learn everything about your choice. Then, if you still want to be changed... I will change you." he answered her without looking away and I couldn't control the pride that I felt at him for finally letting her make the choice, for accepting her decision to change.

"Do you promise?" she asked and I had to turn away, the look he gave her was so filled with love, with hope, that it felt that I was intruding on a very private moment.

"Yes Bella, I promise. I'm not going anywhere ever again and I promise that when you are ready I... I will change you." his voice was lower now and I saw her from the corner of my eye as she reached up and pulled him into her, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing lightly into his shirt.

A little while later Edward brought Bella back down to the living room where he made sure she was comfortable on the couch before he flipped a movie on the television and settled in next to her. She seemed to be needing his touch and his comfort and I was happy to see that she was accepting it so easily today, their relationship looking like it might finally be beginning to heal.

After she had woken up from a short nap Carlisle checked on the stitches to make sure that they were holding and then sat down to speak with Bella. None of us had forgotten the cause of the marks and we were all anxious to understand what had happened.

"Bella... was it your friend Jake that did this to you?" he asked her delicately and I watched as she picked at the fringe on the edge of the blanket, chewing on her bottom lip nervously before answering with a quiet yes.

The rest of the family did surprisingly well at her admission, all of us managing to suppress our growls and hisses, even when though I heard something else shatter from the kitchen.

"Why did he do it?" Carlisle's face remained calm but it was obvious to me from the way that he twisted his hands in his lap that he was working just as hard as the rest of us to appear that way.

"Jake and I are friends. We have been for years... he came over to keep me company when Charlie left for work this morning." she paused there and swallowed before continuing. "Everything was fine when he got there but I then... he just... he asked about you all, whether or not I was still comfortable with all of you... like he knew what you were. I told him that of course, that you were my family and he just... he lost it. He started shaking and he told me to back away from him." she paused again and I could tell it was taking everything in Carlisle to stay calm as he encouraged her to continue.

"I didn't listen to him though... I thought... I thought he was just jealous... I didn't know... I should have known..." she was starting to ramble and I saw Edward rub up and down her arms soothingly.

"He kept telling me to get back and then I said that you were in my life and he would have to accept that... I told him that I was planning to be like you one day." The room was silent and we understood what had set him off now, it was something that was ingrained in them... we were the bad guys and now his friend was announcing that she wanted to become one as well.

"He... he changed into a... he was a giant wolf... I was too close." she spoke quieter again, "it was an accident and he was back a minute later. But I was scared and I didn't know what to do... I locked myself in my truck. Jake... Jake wanted to drive me to the hospital but I... I wouldn't let him. I came here instead." she was crying so hard she was nearly in hysterics by the time that she finished.

After calming her down Edward managed to explain a little bit more about shape-shifters to Bella, telling her about the treaty that exists between the groups. The same treaty that prevents us from ever biting a human – from even changing a human into a vampire. When she questioned what the treaty meant for her... whether or not we would still honor her request or not, he answered her honestly, telling her that he didn't know the logistics yet, but we would make it work out somehow.

I made my way into the kitchen, listening as Edward and Bella talked calmly for the first time since we'd been back, their conversation eventually turning to lighter topics and my smile stretched across my entire face when I heard them both laughing together. As I worked my way around the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients to make Bella a sandwich for lunch, I also listened to the rest of the family as they congregated upstairs in my husband's office.

"I say we go and pay those _dogs_ a visit." Emmett snarled angrily,

"Emmett. As much as I would like to do that, it would only spark a war between our two kinds. I think we should meet with that Sam fellow again and use this incident as leverage so that when it comes time for Bella to be changed it won't be a treaty violation." Jasper spoke thoughtfully and I agreed with him. I had a wild urge to tear the animal apart that had dared to get even close to Bella, but using Jasper's idea was a smarter way to do this. By the time that I took Bella's lunch to her, it had been decided, a meeting arranged for that night between our family and the tribe.

"Thank you," Bella whimpered slightly in pain as she sat up and took the plate from my hands. I was relieved that although her face was still paler than normal, she seemed to be more alert now and feeling a little better.

"You're welcome," I smiled at her before leaving, hearing Alice calling me down to the front hall.

"Alice?" I asked when I saw her standing there all alone, her face strange, distant.

"Will you come for a walk with me Esme?" she asked in an eerily calm voice and I winced involuntarily... I missed the old Alice.

"I was hoping to talk to you a little bit about some of the things that I've seen."

**A/N: Wow! Two updates in two days... Getting close to the end of this story now. Family is starting to seem like more of a family again, just a few more loose ends that need tying up. Hope you all enjoyed this one, thanks for all of your reviews!**


	17. Family Ties

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**

"_**I was hoping to talk to you a little bit about some of the things that I've seen." **_

Alice and I walked alongside each other in silence as we left the house and moved towards the river, following the slight path that we had forged during our previous time in Forks. To say that I was curious about what she wanted to talk about was an understatement, but I also didn't want to rush her so I simply walked by her side until she stopped and moved to sit at the river's edge. I followed her lead and sat beside her in the damp earth, waiting for her to begin the conversation.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant... I haven't been very helpful and I know that you've been worried about me." she spoke softly and looked down at her feet which I noticed for the first time were covered in a simple pair of black sneakers, something that Alice would never have previously worn.

"You don't have to apologize Alice. We've all been worried about you and we miss you... the old you... but it's nothing to be sorry about." I reached my arm around and hugged her gently as I saw a single tear fall from her eye and she used her index finger to brush it away quickly.

"And these tears!" she exclaimed suddenly louder, her voice frustrated. "I don't understand these tears!"

I couldn't help the slight chuckle that escaped my mouth at her outrage. It wasn't so much that I thought that she was funny, it was more her frustration with something so small, something that most humans never gave a second thought to. But to be honest, her tears still baffled all of us... especially Carlisle.

"I'm afraid that your tears are a mystery to us all." I tried to reassure her but she already seemed to be moving on in her mind, preparing for whatever else she needed to say.

"Jasper and I went back to Mississippi." I wasn't surprised to hear that they had been back there. After Alice had told us that she had seen her past, I had thought that might have been where she and Jasper had gone by themselves.

"Did you learn anything new?" I asked cautiously and she nodded her head again and then bit down on her lower lip, as if debating whether or not to tell me. It was a habit that reminded me so much of Bella that I had to stop myself from smiling at the similarity.

"I saw flashes in my visions of the past and I didn't understand them until... well... I asked Jasper to speak to my niece." I was slightly taken aback by her statement. When she had previously learned about her niece that was still alive, she had been content in just knowing that she had family out there, and had not felt the need to learn anything from her directly.

"He approached her one morning in her garden and said that he was writing a report on the Asylum that I had been in and she opened up then, she answered all of his questions." I held my breath as I waited for her to continue, wondering what she could have possibly learned about herself from a niece that had never met her.

"My sister... Cynthia... talked about me a lot to her daughter." she paused and swallowed, quickly swatting away another tear with her hand. "Cynthia was only eight when I was sent to the asylum and she had been told that I had died. We had been very close even though we were nine years apart and she took the news of my death extremely hard. When I disappeared two years later from the hospital and my father was notified, Cynthia had been eaves-dropping on the conversation. She was angry and she began to rebel against him, becoming depressed over the years. My father had been considering sending her away as well when she returned to the house one day, pregnant at 15 years old." I gasped in shock and Alice nodded her head sadly. "Instead of sending her to the asylum, they sent her to live with a cousin in California until she gave birth and the child was given up for adoption. Cynthia was sent back to Mississippi. The whole thing was so well covered. That's why we didn't find out about it the first time we looked into my past."

"And that child?" my voice was barely audible and I felt my heart clench.

"Was a little girl. The family that took her in called her Marie... Marie grew up and eventually got married... her child Renee was born in 1968." Alice's voice was as quiet as mine as I worked to process what she was telling me.

"Bella's Renee?" my mouth felt dry as I uttered the words and Alice's eyes were as large as saucers as more tears began to spill out and onto her cheeks.

"I think that's why we are so connected... why I was initially drawn to Bella... why she was always easier to see in my visions... why her mind could trap mine." I was still processing the information as Alice began to ramble and I raised my hand in the air to stop her.

"Bella is your great-great-niece?" I asked incredulously, doing the math in my head and then looking back to Alice with new eyes. She was still nodding her head and I had to ask, "You learned all of this from your niece in Biloxi?"

"Yes. She still had documents that Cynthia had saved... apparently Cynthia always swore that someday someone would want to know their family's story and it was important to save the documents. She had a copy of Marie's original birth certificate... Cynthia had wanted her named Mary... after me... the birth parents changed it to Marie. She had a copy of my own admission form for the asylum, letters that Cynthia wrote to our father, begging him to let her come home, to keep Marie." she paused to once again wipe away the tears and I shook my head, still dis-believing that this could be true.

"Once we left, Jasper and I contacted Hamilton and had him look into it. He confirmed everything." I didn't know what else to say, my mind was still reeling, so I simply pulled Alice into my side and held her like a mother should.

"Are you going to tell Bella?" I asked after a few moments. I knew that we should and my heart was telling me that we had to tell her, she deserved to know... but at the same time I also felt that it should be Alice's choice.

"Yes. I have to." she said, her voice a little stronger.

"She's going to be like us soon and I want her to know the truth about everything before that happens." I could feel it as surprise covered my face and Alice's mouth turned up into an O as she realized her slip.

"What else have you seen?" I questioned her and she looked to me with a small smile, the first smile that looked truly genuine in days.

"Bella's going to be all right. It won't be much longer... Edward is going to do it." she revealed and I felt my own smile appear, widening at the thought of her becoming a permanent member of our family. "She's already made the decision, but she wants things to be better between her and Edward before it happens." she continued and I hugged Alice tighter to me.

"What about you?" I asked a few minutes later and I felt her pull out of my arm and look up at me.

"What do you mean?" she sounded truly confused by my question and I was slightly surprised by her reaction.

"I mean Alice, what about you? Are you going to be alright?" Understanding dawned on her face as she turned and looked back out at the water in front of us.

"I've changed." she said simply and I wondered for an instant what she meant and if she was going to elaborate. "Everything that I have seen... that I know... has changed me Esme. I'm not the same person that I was before we came back for Bella. I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same as I was... I've seen too much." The words sounded foreign coming from Alice.

_I've seen too much. _Alice had used her gift so frequently before, had enjoyed it's benefits and even it's disadvantages before, relying on it constantly. It had been a part of her. Hearing her say that she had _seen too much_ was shocking.

"I don't know how or why... and I especially don't understand the timing... but somehow my gift has evolved Esme. I can look at you, or anyone really, and see flashes of your past. They look like visions of the future only less colorful, a little more faded, and I don't enjoy them. Slowly I'm learning to control it... using the same methods that I used when I first woke up as a vampire and had to control my visions of the future... but I wish I didn't have to do it at all." I nodded my head in understanding... years of living with Edward and Jasper had convinced me of the curse that these gifts could be.

"I can't turn it off though Esme." she had her head buried in her knees, her hands fisted in her hair as she mumbled the words to me. "When it was just the future... there were always doors... paths... options. If I saw something happen to one of us or to someone we cared for there was always hope to change it, to get there in time, to change a decision. But with the past... with the past it has already happened and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. It's heart-breaking." I rubbed her back as she continued to tell me and I felt my own heart breaking at what she was seeing, at the torture that it must be to see the events and be unable to do something to change them.

"I'll be alright Esme." she took a deep breath as she looked back up and I saw the holes in the knees of her jeans from where the tears had soaked through. "I'll be alright." she repeated softly and I knew then that the old, confident, bubbly Alice was gone.

"I just need time to find myself again." she whispered and I held her as the sun moved across the sky and began it's descent behind the trees.

We had been outside for hours and I had a feeling that we needed to get back to the house so I nudged Alice on the shoulder gently, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Thank you Esme." she said as I helped her up off the ground and I watched as she wiped the dirt of her clothes before turning and taking my arm, pulling me with her back towards the house with just a little bit more energy than she had before. I smiled to myself as I felt hopeful that in time she would come back to us, even if it was gradual, a tiny bit at a time. I was hopeful.

When we began to get close to the house I tried to push everything that Alice had told me out of my mind, not knowing whether or not Edward knew about Alice's discoveries yet and not wanting him to find out through my thoughts. Carlisle and Jasper must have been anxious for our return, both of them arriving on the back porch as we broke through the tree line.

"Is everything alright?" Carlisle asked as I moved to him, his arms wrapping around me as I breathed in his scent, his arms the only home I needed at the moment.

"Yes, everything is fine." I looked up to him and knew that he could tell that there was more that I wasn't saying. I looked over to Alice and asked her silently if it was alright to share what we had talked about with Carlisle, not wanting to break her confidence.

"It's fine," she assured me before she and Jasper disappeared from sight, moving silently into the house and to the kitchen where Edward was preparing Bella and Charlie some dinner.

"Did you talk to Charlie and let him know what happened with the dogs?" I asked as we moved back through the trees and to our spot, the little pond north of the house.

"Yes. He was upset that we didn't tell him right away and he was determined at first to find that Jacob and take him in." Carlisle's voice was serious and I sighed, knowing that arresting Jacob wouldn't have done any good. Charlie probably never would have found him.

"What has you so worried sweetheart?" Carlisle's voice turned soft and he traced the lines on my face where my eyebrows were knotted together as I thought about everything that Alice had told me.

"Alice told me that she and Jasper traveled to Mississippi again." I didn't give him a chance to say anything before I launched into the story that Alice had told me, giving Carlisle all of the details that I knew.

It wasn't very often that my husband was left speechless and I began to get worried when the silence dragged on at the end of my speech.

"Carlisle?" I asked softly and he blinked rapidly, his mind coming back to the present time.

"I'm sorry dear. I just... I can't believe that Bella... all along... she and Alice... family..." his sentences were fragmented and any other time I would have thought it funny, but right now it was concerning.

"Are you alright?" I asked placing both of my hands on his face and looking into his eyes.

"You were right all along." he smiled at me and I looked at him quizzically. "You were right... you always said that Bella was the key to the family. You were right. She's always been a part of our family, whether or not we had accepted her, she already belonged." I smiled at his words, at the truth.

"Alice isn't the only one who has changed." his words once again had me curious and I gazed into his eyes, hoping to see his thoughts laid out for me.

"We have all changed thanks to Bella." I thought it over and began to see the changes adding up. "Alice is obvious, her gift, her personality... her outlook... everything." I began to speak and Carlisle continued, "and thanks to Bella, Jasper has changed his outlook on humans completely... he told me earlier that even with Bella's blood all over the house, there was no urge to attack, no draw for him at all. Rosalie has become more compassionate than I ever thought possible and she and Emmett have developed such a strong bond through this, a respect for the love they have for each other. And Edward... Edward is a new man... he is humbled and hopeful... and he and Bella..." he stopped there and I moved in to his chest, holding him, breathing him in. I needed to hold onto my husband as I thought it all through.

It was true, all of those times that I had said the words, I had never fully understood how or why... but it was true. Bella had always been the key to our family.

**A/N: Well... this is the chapter that from the beginning of this story I was most nervous about posting. I wasn't sure if readers would like it but this was actually one of the first ideas that I had for this story. We're pretty much done now, only the conclusion to come. If you've stuck by throughout, thank you and I hope I haven't disappointed you too much! I know, there are still a couple of things to be explained but I promise it will all tie up in the end!**


	18. Across Enemy Lines

_**It was true, all of those times that I had said the words, I had never fully understood how or why... but it was true. Bella had always been the key to our family.**_

As we faced them down, I couldn't control the sadness that drifted across my face at the sight of the boys standing across from us, some of them appearing much older than they really were, the transformation they had gone through aging them faster than what was fair.

"What is the purpose of this meeting?" Sam – the alpha of the pack – demanded attention with his booming voice and I turned my attention to the slightly older man who was in charge of the group.

"I am unsure of whether or not you are aware, but the treaty has been violated." I watched as the other side of the line began to vibrate at Carlisle's words, a sure sign that they were about to phase, the growls and hisses coming from our side of the line just as menacing as theirs.

Carlisle raised his hand in the air and I stifled my own growl as I fought the urge to crouch down and attack the monsters in front me, the reminder of what they had done to Bella removing any trace of pity I had previously felt towards them from my thoughts.

"Isabella Swan is an extended member of our family." Carlisle began again and I heard more growls from across the line, "earlier this morning, Bella drove herself to our house and stumbled out of her truck, collapsing in front of us due to injuries that she received from one of your pack members." The growling coming from across the line ceased and I could see the look of surprise crossing the leader's face.

"We would never harm a human. We exist solely to offer them our protection." the leader spoke again and I felt my muscles coil, the effort to control my actions excruciating. Carlisle placed his hand silently on my shoulder and I relaxed slightly under his touch, but I could tell that he was as wound as I was from the tension in his own hand.

"Where is Jacob Black?" My husband asked and I looked across the line of Quileutes standing across from me, their bodies tense, some still vibrating slightly with their own anger.

"Jacob was unavailable to attend this meeting." One of the older men spoke up from the other side of Sam and I looked at him curiously, it was obvious that he knew more than he was letting on.

"This morning while Charlie Swan was at work, Jacob arrived at Bella's house to keep her company as they had been friends previously. Things were said and Jacob phased too close to Bella, she now has four long gashes that reach from her shoulder to her hip. It is a miracle that she wasn't killed, that she was able to make it to our house in the condition that she was in." At Carlisle's description I could see the anger and curiosity from across the line, some faces disbelieving, some saddened. The most surprising face though was Sam's own, his face had turned white as though he had been slapped, his body rigid.

"Will Bella be all right?" One of the older tribe members was the first to ask, his voice surprisingly strong.

"Bella is okay... thankfully the wounds weren't too deep and didn't hit any major organs." Carlisle paused briefly before continuing. "However it was still an injury to one of our family." The tribe straightened up again at his reference to Bella as family, their faces all changing back to ones of anger. "However, our family is prepared to move past this in exchange for a pass on Bella's change as she has requested to become one of us." I could barely hear the last words out of his mouth before the snarling began, three of the boys losing their control and bursting into giant wolves, their growls deepening before Sam turned to glare at them, barely stopping them from attacking.

"The treaty forbids it. If you bite a human, the treaty will be void and we will attack." Sam turned then, moving to leave the meeting, his back to us but guarded by the dogs that now surrounded him. The elders that had come disappearing into the forest behind.

"How many of them are there?" Carlisle's voice was so low it was barely audible to us, a necessity as the wolves' hearing was more sensitive than a normal humans would have been.

"There are only the five that are here plus Jacob. He's somewhere close by in case it comes to a fight." Edward answered and I braced myself. I was past reasoning now.

"Bella will become a vampire." Carlisle was deliberate in his choice of words and it sparked an energy between the two sides of the line as our side all came together, ready for the other side to attack.

I watched Sam closely as his eyes closed shut for the briefest of moments before his finger twitched and suddenly there were no longer three but six wolves facing us. Sam – who was now an enormous black wolf – pressed back on his hind legs and then he lunged.

It took only seconds for us all to become involved in the fight. I had backed up Carlisle as he grabbed a hold of Sam mid-air and spun him around, the massive form already in my husbands arms and just waiting for him to deliver the final squeeze that would crush him, the rest of the fight quickly coming to a similar ending.

"Wait." The voice came from the trees on the other side of the treaty line and the fight was paused momentarily while we waited for the footsteps to draw closer.

"Let them go." The voice was requesting, not demanding as another one of the Quileute boys... Jacob I presumed... stepped out and began his approach towards us.

"He's the alpha." Edward's words were low and directed to our side, but I didn't understand what he meant by them.

"We will not let them go unless we can be sure that they won't attack again." Edward spoke up and I looked to see a growling gray wolf in his arms. Edward applied a slight amount of pressure and the wolf yelped in pain before stopping his growls.

"I spoke to Bella. I understand what she wants and why she wants it. You have my word as the rightful alpha that the treaty will stand and we **will not** attack again." his words seemed to be directed more towards Sam and the pack and we waited anxiously to see what would happen next, no one from our side daring to let go until we were sure about Jacob's promise.

Once Jacob arrived the situation was quickly diffused, none of the wolves happy about Jacob's intervention but according to Edward none of them wanting to display a weakness and separation among the pack.

As the wolves once again returned to their side of the line, Jacob gave us a few more details about his call to Bella, including his sincere apology to both her and to us. Finally, after what felt like hours we all retreated back to our homes, the mood quiet but celebratory.

The next few days passed by thankfully without incident. Bella spent that time at her house with Edward, resting as much as she could while her body once again was forced to heal from supernatural trauma. It was a full week before the rest of us saw her again when she came to the house to have Carlisle look at her injuries to make sure that they were still healing properly.

"Bella?" She looked up from her place on the couch were she and Edward had been lazily watching a movie, as Alice walked slowly into the room, her hands nervously picking at her sweater, Jasper following quietly behind her.

"What's up Alice?" It warmed my heart to see how much better Bella seemed, how casual her interaction with us was becoming again.

"I wanted to talk to you about something that I learned about recently." Alice began nervously and I watched as she and Jasper sat down opposite Edward and Bella.

"Do you want us to leave?" I asked quietly and she shook her head slightly before uttering "stay" and I shifted next to Carlisle. It was silent and even Rosalie and Emmett had stopped moving around from the garage, waiting to see how this news would hit Bella.

"I um... learned some things about myself and my family history before Jasper and I came back to Forks." she began and Bella looked at her with a strange expression, a mixture somewhere between worry and confusion. I felt a light dose of calm surround us and looked at Jasper thankfully.

Alice jumped into her story then and I watched as Bella and Edward both wore looks of surprise when she revealed that she was really related to Bella. I had assumed Edward would have picked up on some of our thoughts before now but I must have been wrong, his worry for her safety most likely blocking out our mental slips.

"Aunt Alice?" Bella's giggle broke through any worry that I had felt about her taking it badly and I exhaled loudly, the others following my lead.

"Are you okay with it Bella?" Alice asked worriedly. She had been terrified of telling Bella... worried that it would put an even bigger rift between them. Their relationship seemed to be taking the longest to heal, Bella's hurt about her best friend leaving her rivaling Alice's worry about telling Bella what she knew.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me Alice?" Bella's voice was no longer full of smiles and I could sense the hurt from her as she spoke.

"I didn't want you to hate me Bella... I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago and I thought that you might hate the idea of being related to me... and I still don't understand everything. But I thought that you should know." Alice's voice broke through as she looked back down at her hands, avoiding Bella's gaze.

"I don't hate you Alice." she said quietly and I looked to Carlisle, a smile on my face. "It's a little weird... that you're my Aunt or whatever... but I still love you like a sister Alice." she said and I felt the relief flood through the house. "I could never hate you. You hurt me when you left Alice, but it doesn't mean that we can't work through it, let go of the past like I'm trying to do with everyone else." her words were quiet and I laughed as Alice jumped up and ran to Bella, surprising her when she wrapped her up in a hug.

After that Alice and Bella's relationship finally began to heal, both of them open and able to talk to each other about things that nobody else could understand, that none of us had lived through. The two of them began to spend hours talking, Alice slowly coming back out of her shell and Bella sharing in detail what her captivity had been like.

The weeks passed and things began to settle. Bella healed from her injuries and relationships began to strengthen, nothing happening overnight, but gradually building back up. Plans were beginning to form among the family. We bought a new property in Northern Ontario, a place where we would be going to make Bella's transition easier, a place where temptation wouldn't be an issue for a newborn.

While we waited for the time to come to move we allowed Bella some distance, some time with her father before she would be unable to see him and continued making plans, preparing for the next stage of our lives.

When Bella told Charlie of her decision to be changed he wasn't surprised. It had been something that he had felt would happen eventually and when he saw the way that Edward and Bella were together, he, like us, couldn't deny that they were meant to be. When he asked to speak with Carlisle and I a few days after Bella spoke to him, we were slightly surprised but understood his concern.

Charlie wanted what was best for Bella. If becoming a vampire was best than he was willing to accept it, but he had been curious what it meant, what the change would entail. After Carlisle described it to him his face fell and his eyes looked pained.

"I'll never see her again, will I?" he had asked me with tears in his eyes and I felt my heart break for him. Looking to Carlisle he nodded his head at my silent question and I turned back to Charlie.

"Bella won't be able to see any humans after the change. She will look different and there is too much of a risk for her to be close to anyone. Usually a death is faked. But Charlie, seeing as you already know about us, know about what Bella will be... as long as you are able to keep what you know a secret, I don't see why you won't be able to speak to her, have contact with her. And then once she is adjusted to this life, possibly even see her again." I had spoken quietly and his head had shot up in surprise at my answer, his eyes still brimming with tears.

After our visit with Charlie he had been more at peace, requesting only that we take care of his baby girl. We assured him that we would.

In the final days before our move, Carlisle had been deep in his research on Bella and Alice's familial connection, an obsession of sorts that he had formed as he tried without success to understand what linked the two of them together so strongly.

"I still don't understand why," he mumbled as I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He was sitting in his chair by the fire, his eyes glued to the screen in front of him as Rosalie and Alice snickered at his reaction from across the room where they were painting Bella's nails.

"Listen," he spoke up before I could question his words. "According to Eleazar, there was a case in Spain in the early 1800's where a nineteen year old girl was changed into a vampire. Her cousin who she had been very close to was kidnapped shortly after that and tortured before being killed. There was evidence that the girl had been able to sense the torture that her cousin had been going through during his captivity and that she had even shed tears of venom over his situation. After several months the tears eventually stopped and she never experienced that kind of connection again." The rest of the family had joined us in the living room by the time he had finished reading the information that Eleazar had sent him.

"He doesn't know any other details, other than the fact that the vampire went slightly insane a few years later and was destroyed by the Volturi." Carlisle spoke again and I looked at Alice and Bella who were sitting next to each other wide-eyed.

"So I guess it all has something to do with us being related?" Alice squeaked out and Carlisle shrugged his shoulders, his frown creasing his forehead.

"I don't know. This has only provided me with more questions." he said and I sighed. Finding out the whys was not as important to me. Our family was healing and almost happy again. That was enough for me to know.

"Eleazar wants to meet Bella before her change." I looked at my husband worriedly and shook my head gently, the rest of the room either copying my action or saying a firm 'no' at the suggestion. Everyone except for Bella.

**A/N: Okay, originally this was a much different chapter and it was supposed to be the last one. However I felt that there was too much that happened and decided to edit it and divide it into two chapters. So I hope you enjoy! Also I want to thank you for all of the kind reviews on the last chapter, I found it so encouraging to know that my idea was one that you all liked!**

***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**


	19. Bella's Shield

"_**Eleazar wants to meet Bella before her change." I looked at my husband worriedly and shook my head gently, the rest of the room either copying my action or saying a firm 'no' at the suggestion. Everyone except for Bella. **_

"It won't hurt anything for me to meet with him." her voice was unsure as she looked to Carlisle who nodded his head thoughtfully.

"Bella... Eleazar... he has connections to the Volturi... I think maybe it's best if we wait for your transformation before you meet him." Edward said and I echoed his concern. Eleazar, although free from the Volturi for now, was never quite released from their grip, Aro always assuming that if he needed Eleazar's help he could bring him back.

"I'm going to be changed in a few days Edward. Eleazar might be able to explain more of what happened between Alice and I." she said and Edward looked to Carlisle, an unspoken question in his eyes.

"We can trust Eleazar and Carmen. If and when he ever sees Aro again, it won't matter because Bella will already be one of us." Carlisle answered his question and he looked back to Bella with a sigh.

"Are you sure that you want to meet with him Bella?" Carlisle asked hesitantly.

"Yes. I think it would be good if he could explain even a little bit more about what happened." she answered and I saw the resignation in Edward's face.

Two days later Eleazar and Carmen arrived at the house, the greetings brief before he looked to Bella curiously. "Bella's definitely a shield." he informed us almost immediately after we showed them in and sat down. I smiled at the description, knowing a little bit about what a shield was and knowing how rare of a talent it was. There was only one other known shield in our world and she held a special place within the Volturi, protecting Aro.

"A shield?" she asked with more than a little curiosity.

"Yes, a shield. You have a defensive ability which can block people from getting into your mind... I'm guessing that Edward can't read your mind. Am I correct?" he asked and she nodded her head.

"Now Bella, I want you to try something." he shifted so that he was looking directly at her. "Close your eyes and imagine that there is a film. A stretchy band covering your mind... try and get a visual picture of it." she closed her eyes and I could see the concentration on her face. "Now pull it back, shift it so that it is no longer covering you." he directed and Edward gasped from my right, but I couldn't look at him, I was too curious about what was happening. Bella's eyes snapped open then and she moved to press her hands to her temples as though she was dizzy.

"I could read her thoughts just then." Edward stated in surprise as Carlisle went to Bella's side to make sure that she was alright.

"She's more than a shield. Her talent is more intricate than anything I've ever seen, very defensive and quite intriguing." I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he processed whatever it was that his talent had shown him. "I'm not sure how exactly to describe it." he said and his hand rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"You said that one of the vampires that was holding her was talented, could cause some sort of void?" Eleazar looked to Carlisle and he replied with a yes, telling him that the woman had made it difficult for Jasper and Edward to sense anything when we had arrived and when they had tried to reach Alice.

"What do you know about the vampires that were holding you captive Bella?" I was surprised by his question and Bella looked thoughtful as she considered what to answer.

"Taylor... when I was with her it was like I felt strange, weaker. Sometimes I thought I could see almost like a gray cloud surrounding her... but I always just assumed I was hallucinating." Bella's voice was quiet as she recalled her time in captivity and Alice looked small as she moved to sit next to Bella, wrapping her arm around her in a hug. It was a difficult topic for both of them to discuss and they both looked stronger when they had the others' support.

"Bella, I don't think it was a void so much as a … a disarming ability of sorts. I think that she weakened you... weakened your shield somehow. I can't be certain but from what I have seen just now, it is the most likely explanation." Eleazar spoke again and the room was silent, waiting for him to describe what he meant in more detail.

"Can you move your shield again.. I know it must be difficult, but we only need to do this for a moment. Edward, when her shield is up I want you to try and focus on someone else's mind." Bella looked nervous as she gave a single nod to let him know she understood before she once again closed her eyes and her face became concentrated, slowly she opened her eyes and I looked at Edward who seemed to be focused only on Bella before she blinked rapidly and then began to slouch, her eyes slamming shut and her heart-rate skyrocketing.

"Bella!" Both Edward and Alice exclaimed as Alice supported her body, shifting her so that she was laying down on the couch while Edward looked her over carefully. Carlisle moved to Bella's side and pretty soon she was opening her eyes, groaning slightly as she raised her hands to her head, gently massaging her temples.

"Bella?" Edward asked and she looked at him before groaning again.

"My head hurts." she said and I was worried that the exercise that Eleazar had her doing had been too much for her as a human.

"I don't think it's a good idea to do any more experimenting with your shield until you've been changed Bella," Carlisle spoke softly but firmly, looking to Eleazar to let him know that he was serious.

"Edward?" the mentioned vampire turned his head from Bella to Eleazar and a low growl escaped his lips.

"Edward, I just wanted to know if you were able to focus on anyone but Bella?" Eleazar clarified and we all turned our heads to Edward, waiting for his answer.

"No, I couldn't get away from seeing inside Bella's thoughts." he answered and I wondered what this could possibly mean.

"Jasper, could you sense anyone else's emotions?" Eleazar quizzed next and Jasper, surprised by the question shook his head no.

"It's all defensive ability. Bella, I think the best way to describe your talent is by saying that it is two-way." he paused and Bella shifted back up into a sitting position, her eyes glued to Eleazar. "First your shield stops Edward or any offensive mental talent from getting inside your mind. It protects you. I would also imagine that if you met with the likes of Jane or Alec you may be safer than anyone else in existence. The second part of your talent is actually quite the opposite of that... think of it like a vortex or a black hole. When there is another talented vampire in her area and they are using their talent on her, she sucks them in, causes the focus to come to her." We were all silent at this revelation while we let the information process. "I'm sure there is still more to learn about your talent Bella... but I believe that it will be easier once you are a vampire and you've had practice controlling it." he interrupted the silence with a smile and I couldn't control my own happiness at learning more about Bella's ability.

"So during Bella's captivity?" Alice questioned softly, her face much calmer now as she began to understand what Eleazar had been saying.

"During her captivity, this other vampire may have weakened Bella's shield enough that when Alice began to look for her it pulled her in and held her there." He summarized for us and it all seemed to fit together, the pieces falling into place.

"One more thing Alice. You've always had the ability to see far more than the future. Bella holding you with her mind forced you though to see her past and once that door was open there was no way back from it. You were the only thing preventing yourself from seeing it all of these years." Alice blinked back her tears at his word, nodding his head in understanding before standing and leaving the room with Jasper, Edward and Bella following them out only a minute later.

Eleazar and Carmen stayed at the house with us that night and Carlisle and I enjoyed spending the time catching up with our friends, something that we hadn't done in far too long. But soon it was morning and as much as I had enjoyed their company, I was ready for them to leave so that we could also begin our journey to our new home.

Once they had left we began to work on getting the house ready to leave, packing up the few remaining things that we wanted to take with us and covering up the furniture. It was set that we would be leaving the following morning, Bella spending one last night in her father's house before she came with us.

"We should hunt," my husband wrapped his arm around my waist as I adjusted the last of the dust sheets and I turned into his arms, pressing up on my toes to reach his lips.

"Let's go hunting then," I smiled as I pulled away and ducked under his arms, taking off into the night, Carlisle chasing softly behind me.

"Tease!" he called out playfully as he ran behind me and then suddenly he surprised me by coming from above and landing in front of me.

"What are you going to do about it?" I asked him with a smile as I stepped backwards, matching his steps towards me.

He didn't say anything else as he continued to stalk towards me and I could feel my breathing get caught in my throat as I eyed him carefully. Suddenly he lunged and trapped me against a tree, his arms creating a cage around me, our eyes blackening with need before he pressed his lips to mine and I responded instantly.

By morning we had finally managed to hunt before we arrived to Bella's house to pick her up, all of us wanting to say goodbye to Charlie, to assure him that we would take care of Bella. When we arrived, Bella and Edward were already in the midst of saying their farewells, Charlie hugging Bella fiercely and with tears in his eyes as he told her how much he loved her.

"Take care of our girl," Charlie whispered the final words as we piled into the Mercedes and I felt my heart swell at his words, at his acceptance that Bella was one of us.

"We will Charlie," I smiled at him as I promised him this one more time and then we pulled out and began our journey towards our

future.

_***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**_


	20. Epilogue

"_**We will Charlie," I smiled at him as I promised him this one more time and then we pulled out and began our journey towards our future.**_

"Are you coming Esme?" Alice called out happily behind her as I stood and watched the girls run out of the car and into the house, into our new home. She seemed a little more herself now and I was happy to see that there was only a slight shadow of the darkness that had previously seemed to cover her.

"Of course!" I called back, taking my time and I saw Bella roll her eyes from behind Alice, Rosalie giggling slightly at her action.

It had been four months now since we had returned to Forks and began to really put our family back together, and now we had arrived to our new home in Ontario and we were finally ready to begin the next stage.

The house was ready and as I followed the rest of the family inside, I smiled widely knowing that this was the first night of the rest of our existence, the first night where our family would be truly complete.

"Is he ready?" I asked my husband as he joined me at the entrance and he knew instantly what I meant.

"He is. He has requested that you and I stay nearby while he does it." he said and I smiled knowingly.

"Just in case?" I whispered and he shook his head.

"No, because he is so thankful to you and I. He is for the first time ever, happy with his existence, and he credits you for being able to do this tonight... for having his mate with him at all." my husband told me and I looked up at him happily, my heart filled with love for my entire family.

"Is Bella ready?" he asked me and I laughed lightly, shaking my head at his question.

"Bella has always been ready." I replied and he chuckled as we entered the house and stood off to the side of the living room, watching as the _kids_ moved the furniture around, began opening boxes and got settled, Emmett and Jasper nearly tumbling through a wall when Edward surprised them by pulling the couch out from underneath where they were just about to sit. The girls had all cracked up laughing and then the rough housing began... and it felt right to be here at this moment.

"You're so beautiful." Carlisle's hand had found mine and snaked it's way around it, his fingers intertwining with mine as I turned my eyes towards his, finding them looking at me in a way that made me melt before he kissed me softly.

"You were right all along Esme," he pulled back and looked down at me softly. "It was always about the family... everything that happened, that we've been through... and this..." he gestured to the room around us that had now settled, everyone pairing up and holding their mates to their sides, listening as he spoke, "is right." he kissed me again and I knew. I knew that the months of struggle, that everything we had gone through as a family had happened to bring us here, to this moment, to where we were meant to be.

That night Bella laid in her and Edward's bed, his hand in hers as Carlisle and I stood off to the side and watched painfully as Edward changed Bella, his control impeccable. The rest of the family was waiting downstairs nervously and I could feel Jasper trying to control the emotion within the house while we began our wait.

Bella had never been a normal human. It was obvious from the day that Edward first introduced her to our family that she was more than comfortable in our world.

But when we saw the way that she went through the change, her silent strength astounding us all; and when she awoke and came so calmly into this life, I couldn't help believing that she had been destined all along to be a vampire... to be a Cullen.

"I wanted to thank you Esme." Bella had returned from her first hunt with Edward, her poise as she tried to focus on me throughout her newness to this life, through the confusion I knew she must be experiencing, causing a surge of pride to swell up within me.

"I didn't do anything," I said softly and watched as she carefully sat down on the couch, mindful of her newfound strength and speed.

"You came back for me." she said simply and I continued to watch her as she picked up the small round pendant that was now hanging on a chain on her neck, her name engraved with the Cullen crest, a second charm hanging behind the main pendant... a small silver key.

"Bella..." I paused and smiled at her as the rest of the family came into the room, joining us as I spoke. "You are a part of our family, you belong with us." Her smile was wide and her eyes twinkling as Edward wrapped his arms around her.

"Family," she repeated the word in a whisper, looking around the room at the rest of us before setting her eyes back on Edward.

"Family." The rest of us repeated in unison and I knew that no matter what happened next we would always feel the same way.

Our family was more connected than ever before and finally it was complete. The key had been found and now... now we had forever.

**The End**

**A/N: I wanted to add this short little epilogue to the story as it is now finished and I felt that this was where this part of the story should end. I hope you've enjoyed this story and thank you to all the readers who continued to follow and review this story as it was posted! I hope I didn't let anyone down. I also have several chapters of a sequel partially written which encompasses more of the post-Bella-change family dynamics and answers more questions about Bella's shield, but I'm not sure if or when I will post it.**

_***All original twilight characters and themes belong to S. Meyer, rated M for mature themes.**_


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